


Peter Parker's Rules of Superhero-ing

by Azaria_Serpens



Series: Venom (and Deadpool) are the Bad Influences Peter Needs in His Life [2]
Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: (mostly b/c I can't write angst for shit), Fluff, Gender-Neutral Venom Symbiote (Marvel), Other, That's it, really this is just a dumb comedy thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2019-11-06 01:57:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17930612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azaria_Serpens/pseuds/Azaria_Serpens
Summary: Now that Peter's pretty sure that Venom doesn't wanna kill him, he needs to set them on the right path. Hopefully the one of righteousness, but Deadpool's here now for some reason, so things might be more difficult than he thought . . .





	1. No Killing or Maiming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so, when I said I'd already started on a sequel, I really did mean it. By that I mostly mean I don't have the inspiration to write out one of the ideas I've got for other fics, so I just went to this because I was bored. This is mostly just an introductory chapter, so it's pretty short. Hope you like it!

**Peter:** _Hey, I'm going on patrol tonight if u wanna join me_

 **Eddie:** _Sure, where do you want to meet up?_

 **Peter:** _Roof of the daily bugle_

 **Eddie:** _Okay, see you there._

 

“Hey, Mary, me ‘and V are gonna go out,” Eddie says, getting off the couch.

“What? Where are you going, it's, like, 6:00.”

“5:47.”

“Close enough. Answer my question.”

“We're just going out for a walk.”

“At night? Whatever, it's your funeral.”

“Aw, c'mon, don't be like that. I've got Venom, we'll be fine.”

“Okay then, have fun. You need someone to bail you outta jail, I'm just a call away.”

“We're just going for a walk, jeez.”

“Yeah, sure, totally, got it,” Mary says, winking at them.

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie mutters, rolling his eyes and walking out the door.

**What does she think we are going to do?**

“I dunno, rob a bank or something.”

**Are we?**

“What? No, we're meeting up with Peter, remember.”

**You are no fun.**

“Excuse you, I am super fun. Now, come on, let's go.”

 **Fine.** Venom says, creeping over Eddie's skin.

**. . .**

After texting Eddie, Peter plugs his phone into its charger and climbs out the window, already wearing his Spidey suit. He still wasn’t sure this was a good idea, but it wasn’t like he could cancel now.

It doesn’t take him long to reach the top of the building, so he just sits down and waits, all kinds of scenarios rushing through his mind. What if they didn’t show up? What if they tried to hurt someone? What if he couldn’t stop them? What if, what if, what if?

All of that grinds to a screeching halt once Venom shows up, leaping from an adjacent rooftop. And while Peter thought he was prepared to see them again, it was really something else to have a hulking, eight-foot tall being with way too many sharp teeth looming over you.

“Hey,” he says, his voice pitched higher than he would like.

 **“Hello, Spiderling,”** Venom says in their own chilling voice. **“Eddie says to ask how you are doing.”**

“Uh, good, I guess? You ready to start?”

**“Ready when you are.”**

“Okay. You think you’ll be able to keep up.”

 **“Aw, the Spiderling** **_cares_ ** **.”** Venom says, condescendingly. **“The real question is, will you be able to keep up with us?”**

They suddenly leap off the building and into the night.

Peter just sighs and jumps after them.

**. . .**

It was dark and cold, a typical night in New York. There was also, thankfully, not too many people out either, so it was pretty quiet.

“Gimme all your money, punk!”

Well, except for that. Deadpool glances around, seeing nothing in his immediate vicinity. Closer inspection revealed a mugger threatening some poor guy in an alley with a knife.

“I don’t think you wanna be doing that,” Wade says, walking up to them.

“Shit, Spider-Man!” the mugger exclaims, dropping his knife.

“Oh for the love of—how many times do I have to go over this, I’m not Spider-man! Do ya see any web patterns on this suit?”

The guy doesn’t dignify that with a response, instead starting to run away.

“So we’re doing this the hard way, I get it,” Wade mutters, taking out one of his guns and aiming for the guy’s legs.”

“Deadpool! What are you doing?!” a voice yells from above his head.

“What the—Spidey, what’re you doing here?’

“What are _you_ doing here?”

“Uh, your job, apparently. You let that guy get away.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Yeah ya did, he took off that way,” Wade says, pointing down the alley.

“You were gonna _shoot_ him!”

“Just in the leg, he would’ve been fine.”

“That’s not—y’know what, nevermind, sorry I said anything.” He suddenly perks up and jumps down from the wall, a few feet in front of Deadpool. “Hey, stop that, drop him.”

The seemingly empty darkness in front of them suddenly shifts to reveal a Colossus sized, slimy, black creature holding the would-be mugger.

“Drop him,” Spidey says again, more forcefully.

 **“We are not a dog,”** the thing says, glaring.

“Remember our deal? The whole no killing/maiming thing?”

 **“Yes, of course,”** it says patronizingly, setting the dazed man down.

“Uh, excuse me, but what the fuck’s going on here?” Wade asks, feeling oh so very confused.

Spider-Man and the thing turn to look at him, and suddenly everything clicks into place. “Oh, shit, I’d know that tongue anywhere, it’s Venom! Spidey, get behind me, I’ll hold them off as long as I can!”

 **“Who is this?”** Venom asks, sounding vaguely confused.

“Don’t worry about it,” Peter mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose.

**“Can we eat him?”**

“No.”

Wade narrows his eyes. “Wh—oh, damnit, what universe is this again? Baby Spidey equals MCU, which means Movie-Verse, so that would make you . . . Tom Hardy!”

“What are you going on about?”

“Nothing important, my fine arachnid friend! So what’s Venom doing here if not trying to kill you?”

**“The Spiderling is teaching us to be a superhero.”**

“Does this mean a team-up? Well, now I’m just offended no one invited me.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Can’t you just picture it? The wacky adventures of an exasperated hero, trying to teach two unruly anti-heroes morals and how to be good! I can see it already, making up different rules, at least ten of ‘em!”

“Oh, really? Look, Deadpool, I can’t deal with you right now, so if you don’t mind, we’re gonna leave.”

“No, wait, don’t go, I’ll be good! Scouts honor, promise.”

“You’re not a scout.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. So, where we goin’ next?”

“What, I never—”

“Pleeease.”

Spidey sighs and hangs his head, muttering unintelligible things under his breath. “Fine! Whatever, you can come along. But only if Venom’s cool with it.”

**“We do not mind. This strange man seems funny.”**

“Great! When do we start?”

“Right now. But if you’re coming along, we need to set down some ground rules. No killing, or maiming.”

“What if it’s an accident? These katanas _are_ very sharp.”

“No accidents.”

“But—”

“But nothing. You coming, or what?”

“Ugh, fine. You’re such a buzzkill.”

“And you’re crazy.”

“Guilty as charged! So, what’re we doin’ first?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so, Deadpool's here because I say he is and I can make those decisions. He was originally gonna be in Friendly Neighborhood Venom, but I just couldn't seem to fit him in anywhere. So, this was my solution.


	2. During Team-Ups, Have Each Other's Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How long's it been since I last posted a chapter? *Glances at date next to my story* March third! What, no way. Heh, heh . . . sorry about that. This chapter really kicked my ass. Anyways, enjoy!

“Phenethylamine,” Peter murmurs. “That’s it, I got it!”

“Got what, honey?” May asks, taking a sip of her tea.

“Oh, just a breakthrough on this thing I’m working on for school.”

“That’s nice. Too bad you have to work on it during the weekend, though.”

“Eh, it's not that bad.”

“Must be something interesting, then. I’m guessing . . . science?”

“Yeah, more or less.”

“Sounds fun, what is it?”

“Just a research project about this chemical, phenethylamine.”

“That's an odd name. What is it?”

“It’s hard to explain, but it’s kinda like a love drug. We produce it naturally, but it’s also in chocolate and a few other foods as well. It’s basically a mood regulator, and it helps produce endorphins and dopamine.”

May nods, feigning understanding. “Interesting.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Well, you have fun with that,” she says, getting up and putting her mug in the sink. “I’m going to bed, don’t stay up too late.”

“I won’t, good night.”

“Good night, love you.”

“Love you too.”

Peter lets out a breath when May closes the door to her room. He’d have to tell Eddie and Venom that he’d probably just found the solution to their problems. Glancing at the clock on the microwave, which read 9:23, he decides that there was no better time then tonight. Might as well kill two birds with one stone, patrolling with Venom and letting them know what he’d found.

**. . .**

**Peter:** going on patrol tonight, u wanna join?

 **Eddie:** _Sure, same meeting place?_

 **Peter:** _yep_

Peter closes the text app and pauses when he sees Deadpool on his contact list. It had been added rather unsolicitedly, and he wasn’t sure why he hadn’t just deleted it yet. Probably because Wade was pretty harmless most of the time, and just seemed lonely and wanting to talk with Peter (or, whoever, honestly) about any and every thought that crossed his mind.

Sighing, Peter clicks on Deadpool’s contact, and then the little ‘Message’ icon that appears underneath it.

 **Peter:** _hey DP, wanna go on patrol with me and V tonite?_

 **Deadpool:** _OFC, where u wanna meet up?_

 **Peter:** _roof of the daily bugle, be there by 9:45_

 **Deadpool:** _k, see u there_

Peter closes the app and turns his phone off before plugging it in. He was already vaguely reconsidering texting both Venom _and_ Deadpool, but it wasn’t like he could do anything about it now. Resigning himself to his fate, Peter pulls his mask on and crawls out the window.

**. . .**

Venom is the first to arrive, sitting down and leaning against one of the air conditioning units. It was quiet for the most part, up really high it was just the hum of the AC and the faint sound of cars down below.

Peter gets there a few minutes later, swinging onto the roof and stumbling a bit when he lands.

 **“Smooth,”** Venom says, chuckling.

“You try web-slinging and see how easy it is,” Peter mutters, sitting down next to them.

**“Are we going to start, or did you call us here just to debate the finer points of your vaguely impractical method of transportation?”**

Peter gasps in mock offence. “Says the guy who _jumps_ from roof to roof. And yes, we’re gonna start soon. Just, give it a few minutes.”

**“Why? Is the Spiderling tired already?”**

“No. I—look, chill, okay. I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

**“Ah, yes. Because communication is certainly the downfall of all things. Totally.”**

“Oh, can it. You have the time?”

Venom glances at their wrist. **“No. We must have left our watch on our other suit.”**

“Wasn’t talking to you.”

**“The Spiderling has voices too? And here we thought it was just us.”**

“No, the AI in my suit, Karen.”

**“Fancy. Why do you need to know?”**

“You’ll see.”

A minute or so of semi-awkward silence passes before Venom says, **“So, Karen. What is she like?”**

Before Peter has the chance to respond, he’s cut off when a voice shouts, “Hey! Spidey, Venom, I made it!”

They both turn to see Deadpool walking up to them before putting his hands on his knees and hanging his head, panting. “Sorry it took so long, this building is _really_ tall. But, hey, it’s only 9:47, so I’d say I did pretty good.”

 **“Why is the knockoff Spiderling here?”** Venom asks, sounding more amused that anything.

Deadpool gasps in mock offence. “How dare you, if anything he’s a knockoff _me_. I’ve been doing this whole caped-crusader-nix-the-cape thing for, like, so much longer that him.”

“Oh my god,” Peter says, hiding his face in his hands. “This was a bad idea.”

“What? No, Spidey, don’t say that, they started it.”

“Yeah, whatever,” he mutters, standing up and stretching. “You two need to behave if we’re gonna be doing this, so no funny business.”

“Sir yes sir,” Deadpool says, saluting.

 **“ _We_ have no problem with that,” ** Venom says, also standing, and looking pointedly at Wade.

He glares at them for a few seconds, before walking up to Peter and slinging an arm around his shoulder. “So, where we goin’ first, Spidey?”

“Wherever the crime is,” he says, shoving Deadpool away. “Just, try to keep up and don’t kill anyone, please.”

“Of course, my fine arachnid friend.” Wade glances at Venom, who was preparing to jump after Peter, and leaps onto their back shouting, “Piggy back ride!”

**. . .**

“Ugh, this is boooring,” Deadpool whines.

“Yeah, well, you're the one who wanted to come along,” Peter says, swinging his legs on the edge of the building.

“I thought it would be more fun, like it is in the movies.”

“Sorry, but this ain't a movie, pal.”

“That's what you say, but I know the truth.”

“And that is?”

“Not telling. It would probably break your brain anyways, and this author doesn't really do action scenes.”

Peter nods slowly. “Ah, yes. Because all of that _totally_ made sense.”

“You're just not on my level.”

“I don't think I wanna be.”

“Tch, that's what _you_ think. What about you, Venom. Penny for your thoughts.”

**“Our thoughts cost more than a penny.”**

“Aw, c’mon, V. It’s an expression.”

**“We are aware.”**

“You’re no fun,” Deadpool pouts.

**“Excuse you, we are super fun. And to answer your question, you are crazy, but we are not any better, so I would say we are pretty much ‘on your level’ already.”**

“Such stirring sentiment,” Peter deadpans.

 **“Thank you, thank you, we will be here all night,”** Venom snarks back.

“Well I, for one, could not agree with you more,” Deadpool says, wrapping his arm around Venom’s. “We can start a group! ‘People who’re fucked up in the head’.”

**“Sounds wonderful.”**

A minute or so of semi-awkward silence passes before Deadpool looks up at Venom and asks, “So, you come here often?”

**“Yes, this is our favorite brooding spot.”**

“Really? I took you more for a church guy.”

**“Why?”**

“Dunno. Just a feeling.”

 **“We were joking, it was a joke. We usually come out here whenever we get hungry,”** Venom says, grinning wider.

Peter sighs, and Karen informs him of a robbery going on via police scanner.

“Yo, guys, we need to get going,” Spider-Man says, standing up and stretching.

“Why?” Wade asks. “Your Spidey-Sense tingling?”

“Uh, sure. Let’s go with that.”

“Great,” he says, jumping up. “Lead the way.”

**. . .**

They arrive within a minute, hiding themselves on an adjacent rooftop.

“Okay, here’s the plan . . .” Peter trails off when he realizes they weren’t listening to him.

Venom was already preparing to leap down, but before they could, Deadpool grabs their shoulder and says, “Hey! What’s the big idea here?”

Peter feels a relief that soon turns to astonishment when Wade continues, “It’s my turn to take down the bad guy!”

 **“What makes you say that?”** Venom asks, sounding genuinely confused.

“Uh, you caught the baddie last time, duh. It's my turn now.”

**“I was not aware we were operating on a turn-based system.”**

“We aren’t . . . technically. But I wanna take him down this time,” Deadpool whines.

**“Why should you, I thought we were a team, shouldn’t it be all together?”**

“Tch, you would say that.”

Peter sighs, watching the two of them going at it, and has an almost realization. Children. He was dealing with children. Two adult children, fighting over, well, fighting. He glances at the liquor store, and decides he could stop the robber on his own, so he leaves his two charges arguing on the roof while he swings over to the adjacent store.

**. . .**

“It’s my turn goddamn it!” Wade exclaims.

 **“There are no turns!”** Venom yells back.

“There are too.”

 **“Oh, for Pete’s sake,”** Venom starts, gesturing to where Peter should’ve been standing. **“Wait, where is the Spiderling?”**

“What do you mean he’s right—shit. Fuck, we lost the minor, he’s got no supervision, we’re such bad guardians.”

**“I was under the impression he was watching us.”**

Before Wade could dispute that, there’s a gunshot followed by a scream from inside the liquor store.

**“Should we—”**

“Yeah.”

They jump down and charge the store, not really worried the weapon the robber had. When they enter, they see Peter sitting behind a shelf, clutching his shoulder. Deadpool and Venom glance at each other, an unspoken conversation passing between them before Wade slides down next to Peter, while Venom rushes the robber.

“Hey Spidey, you okay?”

“Do I look okay?”

“It’s just a flesh wound, you’ll be fine.”

“I’m shot!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, we’ll get you patched up after V deals with this guy.”

 **“All done.”** Venom says, holding up the unconscious bad guy.

“Great!” Deadpool says, helping Spider-Man up. He turns to the poor cashier cowering behind the counter and says, “The police’ll be here soon, watch that guy.” The girl nods and Venom drops the robber next to her.

“Okay, let’s get outta here. Little help, Venom?” Wade asks nodding to the top of the building they’d been watching from.

Almost begrudgingly, Venom picks them up and carries them to the roof. After setting them down, Venom retreats under Eddie’s skin, re-appearing over his shoulder as just a head.

 **“Is the Spiderling okay?”** they ask, sounding more amused than anything.

“Yeah, he’ll be fine,” Deadpool says.

“Not if you two just _leave_ me here,” Peter says, sounding hysterical. “I’ll bleed out!”

“It just hit your shoulder, Eddie’ll get you some stuff to patch you up and you’ll be good to go.”

“Uh, when did I become a part of this?”

“Well, I can’t just walk into the nearest convenience store in full regalia,” Wade says, gesturing to his outfit. “And poor Spidey here definitely shouldn’t. So, that leaves you.”

“You don’t have any first aid stuff?”

“On me, nope. At home, also no. I've got crazy regeneration, I don’t need it.”

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie mutters, shaking his head.

“Uh, anyone wanna ask how _I_ feel about this?”

“Hush, child, the adults are talking.”

“I’m more capable than both of you combined!” Peter exclaims, his words falling on deaf ears.

“So, Eddie, you’re gonna go buy some stuff. I noticed a CVS nearby.”

Eddie sighs. “Fine, but only if you’re paying. I don’t have my wallet on me.”

“And you think I do?”

“Just take me home, I’ve got stuff there!” Peter says, practically pleading with them at this point.

Deadpool gasps. “Really? Spidey trusts us to know where he lives? I’m so honored!”

Peter grimaces. “On second thought, you can leave me a few blocks away.”

“Yeah, not happening, kid,” Eddie says. “It’d be irresponsible of us to let an injured minor walk home alone.”

“You two are the reason this happened in the first place! That’s it, rule number 2, during team-ups, have each other’s back. Which means we work _together_ and don’t squabble like _children_ over who gets to take down the bad guy.”

 **“He started it,”** Venom says, nodding to Wade.

“Did not.”

**“Did too.”**

“This is what I’m talking about!” Peter interjects. “Behave, or I’m calling off the patrols.”

They all pause.

 **“Fine,”** Venom mutters.

“What he said.”

“Good. Now, if you could call me a cab or something, I’d like to be getting home so I don’t bleed out on some random rooftop.”

“Do you even know what to do for a gunshot wound?” Eddie asks skeptically.

“Not really, but I can just look it up.”

“Or,” Deadpool starts, “you could let the professionals handle it.”

“Yeah, I’m not going to a hospital.”

“Not those quacks, me.”

“I thought you didn’t have any first aid stuff.”

“Oh, I don’t, but I do know how to use it.”

“Really?”

“I’ll have you know, I’m former Canadian Special Forces, so I know what I’m talking about.”

“Yeah, I’d rather just figure it out myself.”

“Aw, c’mon Spidey.”

“Where’d you get the supplies?”

“Eddie probably has some stuff at his place.”

Eddie, who’d been talking with Venom, perks his head at the mention of his name. “Uh, I’ve got what at my place?”

“First aid stuff.”

“Well, yeah, but I don’t think Mary would much like it if all of us barged in there.”

“Mary is . . ?”

“My sister.”

“Shouldn't she be asleep?”

“Probably, but that doesn't mean she is.”

“Well, then you can just sneak in there and get the stuff, then meet us outside.”

“Or you could just take me home and let me deal with this?” Peter suggests.

“Nope, like you said, this is our fault, so we must take responsibility.”

Peter sighs, vaguely regretting trying to instill a sense of morality in two villains. It only really seemed to cause him problems. Then again, it might’ve been worse if they hadn’t been there to help him after he got shot, so . . .

“Well, who says I want you knowing where I live either,” Eddie says, crossing his arms.

“What, you think I’m gonna kidnap your sister or something? That’s not really my shtick, so unless she’s some kinda evil, you don’t gotta worry.”

“How comforting,” he deadpans.

“Look, just get the stuff and meet us back here. Shouldn’t take you more than a couple minutes.”

Eddie groans. “Fine. If I’m not back soon, it means Mary kicked my ass for being out so late.” And with that, Venom creeps over Eddie’s skin and they leap off into the night.

Deadpool sits down next to Peter, whistling a random tune.

“I'm still mad at you,” he mutters.

“You'll be fine,” Wade repeats, sounding a little more subdued than normal.

“You keep saying that.”

“ ‘Cause it's true. You've got a healing factor too, right?”

“Yeah, but it's not as impressive as yours.”

“Eh, my point still stands. Just give it a few days.”

“Says you. You're not the guy that has to walk around school with a gunshot wound. I probably can't write with my right hand, so that's just wonderful.”

“Aw, poor little Spidey.”

“ ‘M not little.”

“Says the kid still going to school.”

“It's college,” Peter says, and it isn't exactly a lie. He may take college classes, but he's still in high school.

“Hm, you're a good fighter, but a crap liar. ‘Sides, I'd recognize teenage whining anywhere. I'd say you and Negasonic would get along, but you're more fresh-faced and naive than her, so maybe not. Although, you do remind me a bit of Yukio, so maybe I'm wrong. I'm probably wrong.”

“They friends of yours?” Peter asks, going with the flow of the new conversation.

“You could say that. I'm more like the charming pest that bugs them whenever I get a new movie.”

“You're not a pest.”

“Aw, thanks for that Spidey. Your kindness truly knows no bounds.”

 **“We are back,”** Venom says, landing on the building and setting down a plastic case.

“Great! Then I'll patch Spidey up and call Dopinder so he can be on his way.”

“Who's Dopinder?” Peter and Eddie ask simultaneously.

“Jinx,” Peter says, mostly out of habit than anything else.

“Y'ain’t gettin’ a soda from me, kid.”

“Dopinder's a cabbie friend of mine. You can get a free ride, and he takes the privacy of his customers very seriously, so you can keep your secret apartment to yourself.”

“He gives out free rides?”

“Superhero discount,” Wade says cryptically.

“Uh-huh,” Peter says slowly. “Normally I'd pry, but right now I'd rather just not _bleed to death_. So, if you could fix me up, I'll be on my way.”

“M'kay. Eddie can call Dopinder,” Deadpool says, tossing his phone to Eddie and opening the plastic first aid kit.

“Uh, what?” Eddie asks, fumbling with the phone.

“It's not locked, just look under my contacts.”

“But . . .”

“I'm kinda busy here.”

Reluctantly, Eddie opens Wade’s phone and scrolls through his contact list, which was small, but colorful with the many varying names and emojis spread throughout. He quickly finds one that says ‘Dopinder’ with two taxi cab emojis flanking it. Steeling himself, Eddie clicks the contact and then the little ‘Call’ icon that appears underneath it.

 _“Mr. Pool?”_ Dopinder asks with a yawn. _“Why are you calling this late?”_

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you were asleep.”

_“Who is this?”_

“Uh, Deadpool?”

_“No, it’s not. How did you get his phone?”_

“He gave it to me.”

_“Then let me talk to him.”_

“It’s for you,” Eddie says, holding the phone up to Wade’s ear.

“Oh, come on. Dopinder, just get here soon.”

_“Sorry, Mr. Pool, right away. Uh, where are you exactly?”_

“I dunno. Eddie, find some street signs.”

“We’re at Castor Wines and Spirits,” Peter says through gritted teeth, the adrenaline finally wearing off.

_“I’ll be right there.”_

“Just avoid the cop cars and you’ll be fine,” Deadpool says, just before the call cuts out.

**. . .**

It was only after the madness was over, and Peter was safe at home, that he realized he’d forgotten to tell Venom and Eddie that he’d found a way to help them. And with his shoulder out of commission for the next week-ish, he wouldn’t have another time to tell them for a while.

Peter glances at his phone and considers calling them, but decides against it. The explanation was just a little too complex to convey over a single call. He’d just have to wait until he was healed enough to go back out as Spider-Man again.


	3. Post-Patrol Food is a Must

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's been a while since I've posted anything. I don't really have much excuses, so let's just say school's been going pretty bad. Anywho, I hope you like whatever this is, and I apologize to any and all New Yorkers reading this. I plead ignorance to the inner workings of New York City, so if you see anything off, I'm sorry. I'm just an oblivious Arizonan, take everything I say with a grain of salt. (Except In-N-Out, that's the best burger place, I don't make the rules)

There were a few things Peter wasn’t expecting to see when he got home from school. Not that he was actively thinking about it or anything, it was just a something in the back of his mind. One of those things he wasn’t expecting was a celebrity to be there. Because, y’know, why would that happen? And yet, when he walked through the door, lo and behold there was one Anthony Stark, sitting at his kitchen table.

Peter was, understandably, shocked. This was an uncommon occurrence, though it had happened before. Just not enough for him to get used to the idea of a billionaire breaking into his apartment.

“Hey, Pete, you’re home,” Tony says, getting up and walking over to him. “We need to talk.”

This was decidedly one of the worst things anyone could hear from another person, especially if that other person happened to be Tony Stark.

“About what?” Peter asks, trying to stay calm. What if he’d found out about Venom and Deadpool? What if he thought Peter was being too irresponsible again and took his suit?

“Uh, about what happened last night. Or do you not remember?” Tony asks, lightly pressing against his gunshot wound.

Peter winces. “Oh, that,” he says, relaxing his shoulders.

“Well don’t sound so relieved. What, you doing something illegal behind my back?”

“No.” He just hung out with people who probably did.

“I’m joking. So, you doing okay after, y’know, getting shot and everything?”

“As well as you’d expect.”

“Can’t argue with that. Did you at least have someone check it out? You don’t want that kinda thing getting infected.”

“Uh, well . . .” Peter trails off, not exactly sure how to explain without telling Tony everything.

“You did, right? C’mon, Pete, I know you’re smarter than that.”

“I did, I just didn’t go to a hospital or anything.”

“Ah, yes. Because why would you do something _sane_ like that?”

“I was in my suit! And I couldn’t exactly go in as Peter Parker ‘cause the cops would’ve gotten involved.”

“Uh, you do have a phone, right? And Karen? You could’ve called me or Happy.”

“I . . . didn’t think about that,” Peter says, and he really hadn’t. Mostly because he was too busy trying to deal with Eddie and Wade, who ended up helping him anyway. “How’d you even find out about this?”

“You say that like you don’t think I’ve got sensors in that suit that tell me if you get injured. And I would’ve been down sooner if _someone_ hadn’t decided it wasn’t important to tell me you’d gotten shot.”

Peter’s pretty sure he was talking about F.R.I.D.A.Y. when he said ‘someone’, but it could also be Karen he meant, so it was probably be best not to linger on it.

“Well, I am fine, really. It still hurts, but I’ll probably be okay in about a week.”

“You sure? Gunshot wounds take a while to heal.”

“For normal people, but I’ve got that nifty healing factor, remember?”

“True, but you should still get that checked out. I can set up a confidential doctor’s appointment for you.”

“Is that really necessary?”

“Do you wanna lose your arm?”

“What?! No, why would I?”

“Infection. So, I’ll get that set up to keep both mine and your aunt’s peace of mind.” Tony pauses. “She . . . does know about this, right?”

Peter looks away sheepishly. “No . . .”

Tony sighs. “Y’know what, it’s probably for the best anyways. If she asks why it hurts, just say you sprained your shoulder web slinging or something, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good.” Tony says, nodding his head. “You sure you’re doing okay?”

“Yep, right as rain.”

“Great! If that’s all, I’ll be going,” Tony says, walking over and opening the door. “Someone’ll call and let you know when the appointment is, so don’t miss it, ‘kay? Bye.”

With that, the door closes, leaving Peter alone once again. And as per usual after spending any amount of time with Tony Stark, he was left with the distinct feeling that a small hurricane had just barreled right through his life without actually damaging anything. It was odd, and not something he particularly liked, but it was certainly unique.

Shaking his head, Peter sets his backpack down carefully and sits on the couch, also carefully, because jarring his wound by carelessly flopping down was not a mistake he’d make twice. He was at least happy that Tony didn’t know about Venom and Deadpool, so he probably didn’t have to worry about that. Bless Ned for hacking his Spider-suit and disabling the Baby Monitor Protocol so many times that Tony eventually just took it out entirely.

That was one less thing to worry about, for the most part, although there was still the issue of Eddie and Wade themselves. It was difficult to determine the success of rehabilitating two villains, though they both seemed willing. Except Venom, but he’d cross that bridge when he got to it. Maybe Deadpool could help reign him in, although pitting them against each other would probably just make everything worse.

Sighing, Peter gets up and decides he could think that all over later. Right now, he just wanted something to eat.

**. . .**

**Eddie. Eddie, wake up. Eddie!**

“Hm? Wha's goin’ on?”

**Someone’s calling you.**

“Who?”

**Not sure. You should answer it.**

“Yeah, yeah,” Eddie mutters, reaching blindly out for his phone. “It’s Peter. Why’s he callin’ so early?”

**It’s nine.**

“It’s the weekend,” Eddie says, answering the call and sitting up. “Wha’d’ya want, kid?”

_“Eddie! You answered, great. Uh, would you mind—Ah!—maybe coming and helping me with something?”_

“Depends. What do you need help with?”

_“Oh, just a supervillain. Nothing too big.”_

“Then why do you need our help? Did the little Spiderling bite off more than he could chew?”

_“That’s not . . . well . . . maybe a little. Just—get down here, please?”_

“Fine. Where are you?”

_“Not sure, just follow the screams. Ooh, call Deadpool too.”_

“I don’t have his number.”

_“I’ll have Karen text you. Okay? Bye.”_

“Bye,” Eddie says, just as the call ends. A few seconds later he gets a text “Here goes nothing,” he mutters, clicking the number.

_“You've reached Deadpool, mercenary extraordinaire, who’s this and what do you need me to do?”_

“Hey Deadpool, it’s Eddie.”

_“Eddie? Why’re you calling? You don’t need me to do a job for you, do ya?”_

“No, Peter called and said he needed our help.”

_“Oh, is this about what’s goin’ on downtown?”_

“Uh, I guess. He said to get there immediately.”

_“Doesn't he know what time it is?”_

“Maybe. We should probably go humour him, though.”

_“Eh, sure, why not. Wasn’t plannin’ on doing anything else anyways.”_

“Okay then. See ya there.”

_“Yep.”_

The call ends and Eddie sighs, running a hand over his face.

**Are we going to go?**

“ ‘Course we are. Is Mary up yet?”

**Not that I am aware of.**

“Good, that means no questions.”

**She does not always ask them.**

“It’s often enough,” Eddie says, standing and stretching.

**I suppose. Why do you think the Spiderling went to us and not his Avenger friends?**

“Dunno. Maybe they’re busy saving the world. Again.”

**Perhaps. Maybe we are more fun than they are?**

“Ah, yes. A mercenary and a journalist with an alien living in them. Such great company.”

**We can sense your sarcasm.**

“Wasn’t trying to hide it.”

**Well, we are certainly more colorful than them.**

“You say this like you know them personally.”

**Do not have to. It’s rather obvious.**

“Whatever you say. Ready to go?”

 **“Yes,”** Venom says, creeping over his skin.

**. . .**

“I _hate_ technology,” Deadpool says emphatically, lying down on the rooftop.

“Complaining about it won’t stop bad guys from using it,” Peter replies, also lying down.

“Then I’ll just get a giant EMP and take it all out.”

“You do that and you’ll take the world down with it,” Eddie points out, sitting down.

“Pff, who cares about that.”

“Everyone.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,”

**“Besides, technology is fun. We enjoy it.”**

“I’m with them on this,” Peter says. “Technology is pretty nice.”

“Sometimes.”

“Most of the time.”

“Agree to disagree. So, Spidey, did you just need us to help you, or do you got somethin’ else planned.”

“I’m pretty beat. Maybe we should just get some food.”

“Sure, as long as one of you two has some money, ‘cause I’m all out.”

Peter and Wade both look to Eddie.

“Yeah, no,” he says, shaking his head. “V already eats through most of my budget, I’m not using the measly remainder on two superpowered people who likely need more food than the average human. I’d be willing to pool our money, but that’s it.”

Peter sighs. “I’ve got some at home, but it’s not much. Wade, I know you’re lying. You’ve got some emergency stash somewhere.”

“Well, yeah, of course, but it’s for emergencies only. We can just go somewhere cheap.”

“I wasn’t plannin’ on shilling out more than $20, $30 if I have to. So, what kinda food do ya feel like?”

 **“People,”** Venom says, almost wistfully.

“Oh, that reminds me, I need to talk to you two later. I think I found a solution to your problem.”

“Really? That’s great.”

“What problem?” Deadpool asks, feeling out of the loop.

“Oh, y’know. Their whole . . .” Peter trails off, gesturing vaguely.

“Cannibalism thing?” Wade guesses.

“Yeah. That.”

“No need to be so derisive about it. It’s not like we had a choice.”

“Anyway,” Peter says loudly. “We were deciding where to eat.”

“Ooh, right. I’m thinkin’ Mexican.” Deadpool pauses. “Really, Mexican?” he mutters. “Oh, yeah, of course. Chimichangas, yay.”

“What was that?” Peter asks, confused.

“Nothing. Just another _uncreative writer_ here. I like other foods, y’know.”

( _Hush, it’s for the narrative_ )

“Ugh, fine.”

“O-kay,” Peter says slowly. “Well, I kinda wanted Asian food. Like, Chinese, or Indian, or something. What about you, Eddie?”

“I’m fine with either.”

“C’mon, dude. You’re the deciding vote, just pick one.”

Eddie pauses and considers this for a moment. “Well, actually I kinda want Greek food.”

Peter and Wade groan.

“You were the chosen one,” Deadpool says weakly.

“It was said you would destroy the Sith, not join them,” Peter continues, half-heartedly.

“Stop being so dramatic.”

“The day that happens is the day I die,” Wade says defiantly. “And, well, that ain’t happening any time soon. Unless you got another planet hangin’ around somewhere, but I doubt it.”

“Couldn’t we all just get the food we want?” Peter asks.

“Not unless you feel like runnin’ all around town, and then two of us will have cold food,” Eddie points out.

“Then we need to come to an agreement. I say we have Asian food because I'm the unofficial official leader here.”

“You're twelve,” Eddie and Wade say simultaneously.

“Sixteen. You have a better idea?”

“Well, I'm the oldest,” Eddie says.

“You sure about that?” Deadpool asks.

“How old are you.”

“A lady never tells.”

“You guys sound like you're in second grade. ‘I'm the oldest so you should do what I want’.”

“Says the minor,” Eddie scoffs. “You just don't wanna have to go along with one of us.”

“I'm the one who sets all this up, I should get to pick.”

**“We could always just—”**

“You're not the one paying.”

“I said I'd help with some of it, it's Wade who's not pitching in.”

“Whoa, don't bring that up. It's not my fault business has been slow.”

**“How about we—”**

“That’s no excuse.”

“What, do you want me to get a _real_ job?”

“Would be nice, mercenary work isn’t all that good if you wanna be a better person.”

**“You know—”**

“What if I don't want to be a better person.”

“Then you wouldn't be here.”

“You didn't give _us_ much of a choice,” Eddie mutters.

 **“Everyone shut up!”** Venom exclaims.

Startled, Peter and Wade stop talking and look at Eddie.

**“Thank you. How about, instead of needless fighting, we go to one of those mall places that has the food courts.”**

“New York doesn’t have malls,” Peter points out.

**“Then what are those things called, the open-air-ish places with the different stores. There was this one Eddie looked at a few weeks ago, Smorgasburg, or something like that.”**

“That’s . . . not a bad idea,” Wade admits.

**“There we go, compromise. I suppose those tourist websites were not a total loss.”**

“No perhaps not,” Eddie says. “And I’d say we definitely deserve a break.”

“Then let’s get going,” Peter says, standing up. “And I can talk with you two about how to fix your, uh, issue.”

“Thanks, I hadn’t realized we’d suddenly become chronically ill.”

“You know what I mean.”

**. . .**

“So, the magical secret is this phena-something or other chemical?” Eddie says, taking a bite of his gyro.

“Yep, far as I can tell. It’s something we produce naturally, and it’s also found in chocolate. I’ve already looked into getting you guys some pills or supplements or something, I just need to talk with . . . _someone_ who can help me make it.”

“I take it this ‘someone’ is a part of the Avengers?”

“Er, yeah. I won’t tell them any of the details, but I do need their help.”

“Can you really convince them?”

“I’ll cook something up, they probably won’t question me too much.”

“As long as you can get it without too much trouble.”

“Yep. I’ll probably have something in a few days, and we’ll have to figure out a proper dosage. Shouldn't take more than a week-ish.”

“Well, that’s all well and good, but what are those two supposed to do in the meantime?” Deadpool asks.

Peter glances at Eddie.

“We’ll be fine,” he says quickly.

**You know that’s a lie.**

“I promise,” Eddie continues, ignoring Venom.

“Good. I’ll let you know when we can start figuring out dosage. I’m gonna have to do some tests, though. Or at least some kind of experiment, so I might need you to sneak into a lab with me.”

“I thought you were Mr. Morality? That sounds just a little illegal.”

“Eh, more like I neglect to tell someone the exact details of why I need to use their lab, or, more likely, we sneak into the one at my school after hours.”

“Sounds pretty sketchy, but I’ve never been one to back down from stuff like that. As long as V doesn’t mind going through all that, you got yourself a deal.”

**We will be fine. The Spiderling has proven himself mostly trustworthy.**

“And they've given their okay, so we’re good. Just shoot a text when you need us.”

“Will do,” Peter says, finishing off his food. “Y’know, we should totally do this again. Not all the time, of course, but sometimes. Rule number three, post-patrol food is a must.”

“We’re gonna have to start writing all these rules down,” Wade says.

“Nah, I’ve got it all up here,” Peter says, pointing to his head. “Now, if you’re gonna be paying, then I’m gonna hit the road. I’ve still got things I gotta do, this Saturday ain’t gonna waste itself.”

“Yeah, go on and play video games or whatever it is you kids do these days.”

“You got it, see ya later,” Peter says, walking away.

 A few minutes of amicable silence pass between the remaining beings, before Wade says, “So, are you two really gonna be okay for the next week?”

“Of course. Why would you ask?”

“Because I’ve been in this business for a long time, and I can tell you’re lying. I’m guessing you’ve been skimming a bit off the top, so to speak, and not telling Spidey.”

“You could say that. You gonna do anything about it?”

“No. But I know someone who wouldn’t be too happy if he found out about it.”

“He can’t know, and we’re gonna stop after we figure out this whole thing. It’s just . . . we had to.”

“Yeah, and I get that. But a web of lies is an awful thing to get caught in.”

“You speaking from experience?”

“You could say that. All I’m gonna tell you is be careful.”

“We have been.”

“That’s good. And with that outta the way, I shall bid the both of you adieu,” Wade says, getting up.

“Okay then, see ya later. And, please, don’t say anything to the kid.”

“I won’t. It’s your lie to get tripped up on.”

“Thanks for the support.”

“Anytime.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, given that the last two chapters were updated within a month, that might be the new length of time it takes me to make a new chapter. I hope this is just temporary, and once Summer rolls around, I'll hopefully get more done. Although, given what happened last year, maybe not. Just, don't get your hopes up. Anyways, Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it!


	4. Civilians are Top Priority

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, would you look at that, an update! Sorry it's been so long, but this chapter really just . . . IDK, man, but it took way too long to finish. Hope you all like it!

It was the first Sunday of a new month and Peter was feeling nervous. Along with everything that happened yesterday, he now had to somehow ask Tony about helping Venom without actually talking about Venom. He was pretty sure that what he was asking wouldn’t be too big a deal, considering phenylethylamine pills already existed, just not at the dosages he was sure Venom would need, but there was still the issue of actually asking.

This made the car ride with Happy awkward, because he was much too busy worrying about what to do that any conversation was essentially impossible. Because of this, Peter felt guiltily happy when they finally got to the Avengers Compound, waving an awkward goodbye before heading inside.

After Tony sold Stark (Avengers) Tower, they’d had to relocate their twice a month meetings, which wasn’t too bad except for the longer drive. They were supposed to be times to touch base and offer input on improvements for the Spider-Suit, but eventually just morphed into glorified hang-out sessions where they talked about science, and, occasionally non-science, stuff.

“Mr. Stark?” Peter calls out, looking into the labs as he walked through the halls.

“In here,” Tony says from somewhere ahead of him.

Peter hurries forward and walks into the lab, seeing Tony staring at a hologram in front of him.

“What’cha working on?” he asks, pulling up a chair.

“Nothing,” Tony says, swiping the image away. “Just looking at some suit specs.”

“Oh, cool.”

“Not really, I was just bored. So, how's school going?”

“Really good actually, I passed my biology test, but my English grade is slipping a bit, so I'm gonna have to—”

“Whoa, kid, I didn't ask for your whole life story.”

“Heh, sorry about that. Uh, like I said, it's all good.”

“Great, great. So, what’cha got to talk about? Like I said, I'm bored, so make it good.”

“Oh. Well, I've got this . . .” _Nuisance_. “Friend. And, they need, um . . .” _Therapy and a cease and desist order_. “Some special pills to help with a . . .” _Murder problem_. “Chemical deficiency.”

“O-kay,” Tony says slowly. “And you're telling me this because . . ?”

“Uh . . . they can't get these pills anymore because . . . they can't afford them.”

Tony sighs. “Do ya want me to buy them for your ‘friend’? Who are they, by the way, and what are these pills?”

“Oh, it's just someone from school, you've never met them. And it's phenylethylamine pills. And, no, I don't need you to buy them, I just need help making them.”

Tony raises a perfectly manicured eyebrow. “Uh-huh. And why, pray tell, do you need to _make_ them”

“Well, they have a really severe deficiency, so the regular pills won't work because they need more than what's in ‘em. And they're also really broke.”

Tony sighs again. “Well, I haven't messed with chemistry in a while, so why not. Variety is the spice of life.”

“Really?” Peter asks, disbelievingly.

“Did you - _want_ \- me to say no?” Tony asks haltingly.

“What? No, sorry. Uh, how about we get started on this.”

“Okay. First question, about how much of this phena-what's it chemical do we need?”

“Um, according to them, about the amount one or two people produce naturally.”

“Really? How severely deficient are they?”

“A lot, apparently. So, how soon can we get this done?”

“Well, I don't technically have the materials to make it today, so we'll mostly just be speculating right now. I can order the stuff we'll need, and you can come in again later this week. If you're free, that is.”

“I should be available.”

“That's good. Now, back to speculation.”

**. . .**

It had been a nice Tuesday so far, and Eddie and Venom were looking forward to enjoying the remainder of their day, having finished all their work. Mary was lounging on the chair next to them, watching Netflix and scrolling through her phone.

The peaceful atmosphere was soon broken by a loud knock at the door.

“Ugh,” Mary groans. “You expecting anyone?”

“Not that I can think of.”

“Probably just some salesman,” she mutters.

There's another knock.

They glance at each other.

“Not it!” they say at the same time.

**“You are both children.”**

“Am not,” Eddie mutters, standing up. “I'll get it,” he says, walking over and looking through the peephole. “Ah, crap.”

**“Why is the Spider—”**

“Shh,” Eddie says, opening the door and stepping outside. “What are you doing here?” he hisses, closing the door and facing Peter.

“Delivering these,” he says, holding up a pill bottle. “You could be a little more grateful.”

“You can't be here. How do you even know where I live anyway?”

“That's not important,” he says sheepishly. “Look, I got the pills, and I left you instructions on the bottle. If you have any questions, just call me. They're still in the experimental stage, so be careful.”

“We will,” Eddie says, taking the pills. “And no more house calls. Mary can't know about you.”

“Okay, fine. See ya later,” he says, walking away.

“Yeah, see ya later. And, Peter?”

“What?”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Eddie opens the door and goes back inside, slipping the pills in his pocket.

“Who was it?”

“You were right, just some salesman. I dealt with him.”

“My knight in shining PJ's,” Mary deadpans.

“Anything for you,” he says, taking an exaggerated bow before walking into the kitchen.

**Do you think the Spiderling’s pills will work?**

“Won't know until we try,” Eddie says, getting a glass of water and walking to the bathroom. “Okay, let’s get a look at these so-called ‘instructions.”

On the side were a few handwritten, bulleted guidelines written in sharpie.

“He needs to clean up his writing,” Eddie mutters, squinting. “I feel like I got this from an actual doctor.”

After almost a minute of squinting, deliberation, and unnecessary input on Venom’s part, he makes out what the list says:

  * Don’t take more than four a day. (Seriously, I don’t know what might happen)
  * Take at least one or two a day, with food, more if needed. (We’re trying to find the proper dosage)
  * Keep track of how many you take and when you take them. (Preferably written somewhere, try the note app on your phone)
  * Do NOT let anyone else take these
  * Talk with Venom and treat the pills as though they are food, taking one when you’re hungry. (ONLY when you’re hungry)



 “Well, he certainly didn’t really leave anything out.”

**“It would seem so. Can we try them now?”**

“Sure, we just need to get a snack ‘cause we have to take it with food.”

**“I think we still have some pretzels left.”**

“That’ll do. I just hope this stuff works.”

**. . .**

**Wade:** _can we go on patrol today?_

 **Peter:** _sure, what time?_

 **Wade:** _6:45_

 **Peter:** _see u there_

“Hey, Eddie! Are you finished packing yet?”

He glances at the mostly empty boxes and suitcase in front of him. “Uh, well, it’s coming along,” he says, wincing.

“Help me with the kitchen when you’re done,” Mary says, walking out of her room.

“Um,” Eddie starts, getting off the couch. “Actually, me and Venom need to go out tonight.”

She turns and gives them a dubious look. “Uh-huh. This wouldn’t be to get out of packing, would it?”

“What? No, of course not.”

Mary raises an eyebrow. “Fine, whatever. But you’re helping me with the dishes when you get back,” she says, going into the living room and dramatically collapsing on the couch.

“No problem,” Eddie says, walking out of the apartment.

**. . .**

The Daily Bugle had, over the last couple weeks, become their unofficial official meeting place for whenever they all went out on patrol. It was mostly an accident, but if asked, Peter would claim it was on purpose all along. If you asked what purpose, however, he’d cleverly redirect the question with something like, “Oh, look at that cool bird,” and hope you’d forget what it was you asked in the first place.

Regardless, it was nice to have a set place, because it really made everything easier. As long as everyone showed up on time, at least.

Peter taps his foot impatiently, glancing at the clock in the top left corner of his screen. “Karen, how late do you think they’ll be this time?”

“At least two more minutes.”

“I say five.”

“Let’s compromise and go with three.”

“You’re too lenient.”

“You’re too cynical.”

“I have every right, they’re supervillains.”

“Anti-heroes.”

Peter gasps in mock offence. “Did Ned teach you that?”

“Maybe.”

“Never letting you two talk again,” he mutters, sitting down.

About three minutes later, they show up.

“Told you,” Karen says, almost smugly.

Peter ignores her and puts his hands on his hips. “What took you guys so long?”

“Traffic,” Wade says confidently.

**“Yeah, traffic.”**

“Neither of you have cars.”

Deadpool opens his mouth to says something, but pauses. “Yeah, well . . . neither do you.”

“I wasn’t the one making up excuses. You both need to start showing up on time.”

“We’re only a few minutes late.”

“You were the one who called this in the first place.”

“I don’t have a watch.”

“They’re not all that expensive.”

**“Are you two going to stay here and bicker, or are we going on patrol?”**

Peter pauses. “We’ll talk about this later,” he promises.

“Fine by me.”

**. . .**

Venom had a really good sense of smell. And hearing. And, well, just better senses in general (including common sense, but Eddie refuses to believe it). It's all a part of being a Superior Being, at least when compared to humans, with their cute limited vision and general obliviousness.

Enhanced senses are also great when you're out fighting crime.

For example, when they hear the shout of some poor lady saying that her purse has just been snatched.

 **“Follow me,”** Venom says, quickly changing direction and heading toward Central Park.

They soon locate someone quickly biking away, the woman’s purse clutched against their handlebars. Ignoring the loose crowd of people between them and the thief, Venom barrels right through, tackling the cyclist when they catch up.

Peter appears a few seconds later, followed by Deadpool and Venom proudly holds up the guy they just caught.

 **“Look what  we found,”** they say, grinning.

Peter’s eye-lens-things squint, and Venom gets the impression he’s upset at them.

“What the heck was that!” he exclaims, definitely mad at them.

“I’ll just go return this,” Deadpool says quietly, picking up the stolen purse and running off to where the thief had been fleeing from.

**“Did you really just say ‘heck’?”**

“I—well, yeah. But that’s not the point, what do you think you’re doing.”

 **“Stopping crime,”** Venom says, lowering the terrified cyclist to the ground.

Peter webs his wrists together and glares at Venom. “Yeah, I know. I meant what you did there,” he says, gesturing to the crowd of people Venom had barreled through, some lying on the ground, dazed.

**“It was faster.”**

“It was faster, really? You look—you look me in the eye and tell me you can’t _easily_ outrun some guy on a bicycle.”

 **“We cannot,”** they say, seemingly serious.

Peter stares at them for a few seconds. “Okay, you’re good, but I know you’re lying. You totally can.”

**“Perhaps.”**

“Perhaps nothing!”

“Oh, you guys are still fighting,” Wade says, walking up to them. “I’ll just—” he carefully steps around them and helps the attempted thief up before walking over to the officer taking the woman’s statement a few yards away.

Peter sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Look, I’m not 100% sure why you both do this, and frankly I’m not sure I wanna know, but if you’re gonna be helping me, you have to follow the rules.”

**“There’s no rule against running through crowds.”**

“Fine, rule 4, civilians are top priority. Which means _running around_ whatever crowds of people happen to be between you and the bad guys.”

 **“No one got hurt,”** Venom mutters.

“This time. Just, be careful, okay? It shouldn’t be that hard.”

 **“You are no fun,”** they say, sounding more humorous than bitter.

“Yeah, I’ve heard it all before. ‘That Peter, what a buzzkill, trying to keep everyone safe all the time, he sucks’.”

“Peter?” Deadpool says, walking back up to them.

Peter takes in a sharp breath and Venom hides their mouth behind their hand, trying to stifle their chuckles.

“Shit,” Peter says under his breath.

“Whoa, kid, you don’t gotta worry about anything, I’m not the kinda guy to go ‘round revealing secret identities. That’s just rude.”

“Thanks,” Peter mutters, and Venom bursts out laughing.

“No problem. Anyways, do you guys wanna go back to my apartment? I got some leftover food I need to get through before it goes bad and I could use some help.”

It’s a bit desperate, a little pleading, but Peter gets the feeling that Wade had been lonely, or having a bad day and that’s why he called the patrol.

“Sure,” Peter says, mostly against his and Tony’s and May’s will. If he was being honest, it was partly because he felt bad for Wade. The other part was mostly just because, hey, why not. He was hungry, and if something happened (not that he was really expecting anything) he was pretty sure he’d be fine.

 **“We will go too,”** Venom declares. **“Of course, you do,”** they say, mostly under their breath, and probably to Eddie. **“Eddie says yes too.”**

“Great! Follow me.”

They start headed to Wade’s apartment and, not for the first time, Peter wonders just how much hanging out with those two had affected him.

**. . .**

“Well, here we are,” Wade says, opening the door. “Make yourself at home, I’ll go get the food.”

Peter and Eddie walk inside, looking around the room. It was messy, but in a neat kinda way. Everything had its place, and if that place happened to be the floor, then well, that’s where it was. They both noticed the various weapons strewn about. Peter didn’t even want to think about how many were being improperly stored, guns without the safety on and knives unsheathed.

(None of them were, of course. Wade was a professional, not some weekend amateur)

“Nice place,” Peter says, sitting on the couch. He wasn’t really lying either. There was a sort of charm wrapped up with the messiness and underlying smell of takeout. Although he could probably be better with his garbage, Peter notes, seeing the various pieces of trash strewn about. You want ants, ‘cause that’s how you get ants.

“Yeah, sorry about the mess. I wasn’t really expecting company. You guys want it cold, or should I heat it up in the microwave?”

“Depends,” Eddie says. “What do you got?”

“Uh, some Chinese, orange chicken and rice. Few slices of pizza, cheese and pineapple and olive. And, uh, Thai food.”

“Did you say pineapple and olive?” Peter asks.

“Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you’re one of those people who gets all up in arms about pineapple on pizza, because I really don’t wanna hear all that again.”

“No, no, I was just making sure I heard you correctly. It’s . . . an odd combination.”

“Yeah, well, I got cheese too if you don’t wanna try it.”

**“I want to try it.”**

“Sweet. I’ll just throw everything in the microwave, this stuff’s never really good cold anyway.”

Peter pauses, and glances over at the kitchen, where Wade was carefully piling the leftover food into the microwave.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?” he asks, getting off the couch and walking over.

“Uh, heating everything up.”

“At the same time?”

Wade glances at the microwave. “No . . .”

“You’re gonna burn the place down!” he exclaims, nudging Wade away and taking everything out.

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Wade mutters, backing up.

Peter turns and _stares_ at him. “I—y’know what, out. Out of the kitchen.” He makes a shooing motion with his hands and Wade gives him a puzzled look (that Peter didn’t see because of the mask, but he had the distinct feeling that’s the face Wade made) and walks into his living room.

Eddie glances at him and pulls his legs up so his knees were bent, and Wade sits in the empty space on the couch.

“I think I just got kicked out of my kitchen by a twelve-year-old,” he says, almost confusedly.

“Sixteen,” Peter says tiredly, with the kind of resignation of someone who’d had the same thing happen to them many times before.

“It’s my kitchen, you know.”

“Not if you use it irresponsibly.”

“Did you just claim ownership of _my_ kitchen?”

Peter pauses. “Temporarily.”

“Oh, yeah, ‘cause that makes it better,” he mutters, slumping into the couch.

“Don’t worry about it,” Eddie says. “He’s got a tendency to control things, you get used to it.”

“It’s not like I don’t know how to use a microwave, I’ve heat up takeout before.”

“Not all at once though,” Eddie points out. “Mary almost killed us after Venom convinced me to try because they were just _so_ hungry they couldn’t wait.”

**“You are the one who was so easily persuaded.”**

“It was your idea in the first place.”

“It was both your faults,” Peter says, setting the timer on the microwave. He glances around the small kitchen. If there was one thing that May had drilled into him, it was that a clean kitchen is the best kitchen. And looking around Wade’s, he was surprised he didn’t see any cockroaches. Not that it was _really_ bad, but there were crumbs everywhere and it doesn’t take much for cockroaches to appear.

Maybe if he could . . . “Hey, Wade?”

“What?”

“Do you have any paper towels?”

“Uh . . . no. But there should be some napkins in one of the cupboards.”

Peter starts looking and soon finds what he’s looking for, in the form of takeout napkins more-or-less neatly kept in stacks.

“Oh.” Well, they would certainly work. He carefully takes out two napkins and starts sweeping the crumbs with one onto the other.

When he’s done, he carefully folds it up and puts it in the trash can he’d noticed by the fridge. A picture catches his attention out of the corner of his eye, and he turns to look at it.

It showed Deadpool and a few other people standing in front of a large house. Peter only recognized two of the people, Wade, of course, and Dopinder.

His mind drifts to a conversation they’d had about two weeks ago. Deadpool had mentioned two of his friends, Negasonic and Yukio. He was guessing they were the two girls about his age, since he had mentioned they were teenagers. Glancing over at Eddie, Venom, and Deadpool, who were idly chatting, he wonders if he should ask about the other people in the photo.

Briefly interrupted by the timer dinging, he hurries over and takes the food out and puts the rest in.

After a few more seconds of deliberation, curiosity wins and he takes the picture off the fridge, grabs the food, and walks over.

Eddie and Wade gratefully grab the offered takeout, and Peter nudges Eddies legs off the couch so he could sit down.

Wade notices the picture in his hand and asks, “Why do you have that?”

“I wanted to ask you who was in it. That’s you, obviously,” he says, pointing at the at the mini grinning Deadpool. “And that’s Dopinder,” he moves his finger to the smiling man on Wade’s right. “And I’m guessing that’s Negasonic and Yukio,” he points to the two girls on his left.

“How do you know about them?”

“You mentioned them to me a couple weeks ago, after I got shot.”

“I did?” he says quietly, mostly to himself.

“Yep.”

Eddie pauses from eating and points at the two on the far left. “Who’re they?”

“That’s Cable and Colossus. Cable’s the one scowling and being all anti-social, and Colossus is the grinning metal guy. Those other two on the right are Russel and Domino.”

“Cool,” Eddie says, nodding. “So, are they who you hang out with when you’re not with us?”

Wade pauses, his face unreadable because of the mask. “ _Well_ , I wouldn’t put it like _that_ exactly, but kinda, yeah. Though we haven’t talked in . . . oh, a little under a month. At least me and Colossus haven’t, the others are better at keeping in touch.”

“Did something happen?” Peter asks, genuinely curious.

Wade shifts uncomfortably. “Oh, nothing too big. Just another . . .” He says the last few words so quietly even Peter and Eddie’s superior hearing couldn’t catch it.

“Another what?”

Wade gestures vaguely. “Rehash of an old argument. ‘Deadpool, you shouldn’t kill people’.” he mocks with a bad Russian accent. “Got the whole speech twice in a day, that’s gotta be a record. Kicked me outta the mansion and said to not come back until I’d learned some manners, or something like that.”

“Have you?” Peter asks hesitantly.

“You’ve seen me when I eat. Pfft, manners, never heard of ‘em.”

“You know what I mean,” he says, nudging Wade with his shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah. I suppose I can reluctantly say that you _might_ be a _somewhat_ good influence on me.”

“Wow,” Peter deadpans. “I feel so accomplished.”

“Aw, c’mon, don’t be like that. You can’t expect me to give up my awesomely cool anti-hero identity so easily. Gimme some time to adjust.”

Eddie rolls his eyes.

“Whatever,” Peter says, shaking his head. “But, hey. If you ever need someone to put in a good word for you with this Colossus guy, just ask.” He elbows Eddie.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, sure. No problem, just ask.”

“Oh, you guys are the best,” Wade says, reaching out and wrapping them in an awkward hug.

 **“Obviously,”** Venom says, in the haughty tone of someone who did in fact believe they were a joy to be around (regardless whether or not it was true).

The timer on the microwave beeps and Peter disentangles himself and walks over to the kitchen to get his food. “Well, I can say one thing,” he says, sitting back down. “Out of the two of you, Wade did a much better job today.” He glares at Venom. “Seeing as he didn’t barrel through a crowd of civilians.”

Venom sneers back and makes a vaguely threatening hissing noise.

“I always knew I was the better student,” Wade says triumphantly.

Eddie glances at him and raises an eyebrow. “ ‘Student’?”

“Apprentice, pupil, whatever.”

“Yep, gold star,” Peter says, grinning.

Wade smiles right back and Eddie rolls his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, that was, what, almost 3,000 words? Damn, I hope you guys don't get used to this, 2,000 words is difficult enough. Thanks for reading!


	5. Secret Identities are IMPORTANT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'know, it's really weird. I've been oddly productive recently, and I actually got this chapter done in less than a week! Dunno where all this is coming from, but I hopefully it lasts. Hope you like the chapter!

Tony was suspicious. Granted, this happened a lot, like with S.H.I.E.L.D and the Government as a whole, but this was about something much more low-level, politically speaking. He was suspicious of Peter.

This, again, wasn’t something uncommon, but it was rare and minor enough that he never really felt the need to do any kind of in-depth research to make sure he wasn’t doing anything bad, or whatever. Because Peter was a good kid, the kinda kid who would turn in a hundred-dollar bill he found on the ground to a police station, even if he felt he’d spend it better.

So, Tony never had to worry. Except now, because he knew Peter was hiding something from him. It hurt, if he was being honest, because he’d liked to think he’d fostered a kinda trust between them. And maybe it wasn’t as much as he’d thought, or maybe this was something embarrassing that Peter wouldn’t tell anyone, but Tony just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was _off_.

I mean, phenylethylamine pills? Yeah, sure they were a thing in medical circles, but the way Peter acted when he’d asked for them was supremely suspicious. And there was also something about phenylethylamine he’d read in some study somewhere, something weird and important. He couldn’t remember what, and he was planning on asking Bruce about it later, but right now he had to figure out if Peter was doing something outrageously stupid like drug trafficking.

**. . .**

**Wade:** hey, BTW, there’s a supervillain terrorizing manhattan

 **Wade:** just thought you guys should know

“Dang it,” Peter mutters.

“What?” May asks, glancing over at him.

“Oh, just a  . . . superhero thing.”

“You have to go?”

“Probably should.”

“Oh,” she says, obviously as disappointed as he was to find out their peaceful Sunday was being disrupted.

“I shouldn’t be gone long, just give me an hour or two.”

“If you say so. Have Karen let me know if you’ll be longer.”

“She knows the drill, don’t worry about it,” he says, getting up.

“Oh, you know me. I’ll always worry. Be safe!”

“I will. See you later,” he says closing his door.

“See ya,” May says, suddenly feeling alone. “He’ll be alright,” she says quietly to herself. “He always is.”

**. . .**

"Well, I think that all worked out pretty good," Wade says happily, triumphantly standing with his hands on his hips, looking over the recent scene of battle.

Eddie scoffs and Peter gives him a bored look.

“Yeah, totally,” he says sarcastically, sitting down and leaning on his arm.

“It could’ve been worse,” Eddie admits.

Peter says nothing, decidedly not pointing out that sentences like that (along with others similar to ‘what could go wrong’ and ‘I have a bad feeling about this’) tended to be things best left avoided and unsaid.

“Exactly,” Wade says.

Peter raises an eyebrow. Whatever, if they wanted to risk some kinda jinx, that was on them. He scratches the back of his head and pulls off his mask, glad to be breathing fresh air.

Eddie glances over at him and does a double take. “What are you doing!” he exclaims.

Wade turns around and immediately covers his eyes.

Peter pauses, glancing between them with an odd look on his face. “What?” he asks slowly.

Eddie gestures vaguely, his eyes wide. “You can’t just . . .”

“Take your mask off like that,” Wade finishes for him. “Someone could see you!”

“We’re on a very tall skyscraper. Who’s gonna see me?”

“Uh, well, me, for one.”

“You already know my name, it doesn’t really matter now.”

Wade peeks through his hands. “It doesn’t?”

“It doesn’t?” Eddie echoes, sounding confused.

“Nope.”

“Oh,” Wade says, dropping his hands. He glances around. “Y’know, this is a pretty crap identity reveal fic if you’re not even gonna have him make a big deal about it.”

_(This isn’t an identity reveal fic)_

“Right, right. Never mind then, carry on.”

Eddie gives him a baffled look before turning to Peter. “Look, kid, you have to be more careful with stuff like this. You can’t just go taking your mask off all willy nilly. Actually, y’know what, rule 5: secret identities are _important_. Like, in a life or death kinda way. You don’t want your friends and family to get hurt because some super villain found out who you are.”

“Yeah, I know all of that, I’m not new to this.”

“Then don’t be so cavalier about it!” Wade exclaims. “One of the only reasons I don’t care about who knows who I am is because I usually don’t have anyone for my enemies to target. And the people I have now know how to take care of themselves.”

“I know! Look, I may just be a kid, but I know what I’m doing. I don’t want the people close to me to get hurt, so I know I have to be secretive. I trust you guys, which is the _only_ reason I’m being ‘ _so cavalier_ ’ about this.”

Wade scoffs. “Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn’t. I’m not a good guy, Peter. Never have been. And I know I’m trying right now, but I've tried before, and it’s never really worked out.”

“You also didn’t have me before. Consider me your sponsor.”

Wade chuckles. “You really are one of a kind. Not many heroes would be willing to try and rehabilitate any old anti-hero they come across. And you managed to find two,” he says, nodding to Eddie.

“He didn’t really give us that much of a choice,” Eddie mutters.

“Yeah, because you guys were _eating people_ ,” Peter stresses.

Eddie raises his hands. “Fair point, but we had a good reason.”

“That I helped you with.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

Peter sighs.

A few seconds of silence pass before Wade says, “Wait, so are we allowed to make up rules too?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” Peter says. “Just so long as they're relevant, then, sure, why not.”

“Sweet!”

“And just so you know,” Peter says, turning to Eddie, “I am very good at keeping my identity a secret. Only, like, three other people know. And some of the Avengers, I think, but that’s it!”

Eddie gives him a Look. “Whatever, kid. Anyways, I gotta go help Mary finish packing,” he says, standing up.

“Packing?” Wade says. “Are you moving away?”

“Hm? Oh, no, we’re just moving to a bigger apartment. It’s kinda hard having two people living in a one-bedroom place.”

“Yeah. Do you need any help with the move?” He poses dramatically. “These muscles aren’t just for show.”

Eddie chuckles. “Maybe. I’ll let you know if we do.”

“I could help too,” Peter offers. “I’m stronger than I look, proportional strength of a spider and all that.”

“I’ll think about it. See ya guys later,” he says, walking away.

“Yeah, see ya,” Peter says. “Hey, I gotta go too, my aunt’s gonna start worrying if I don’t get back soon.”

“Okay. See ya, Pete.”

Peter gives him a disapproving look. “No nicknames.”

“Okay, webs. Have fun with your aunt.”

Peter pulls on his mask and sighs. “Whatever,” he mutters, jumping off the building.

**. . .**

“Ned, I really need to talk to you about something,” Peter says, sitting down across from his friend.

“Okay, what?”

“So, you know about the whole thing I’ve got with Venom and Deadpool, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I kinda accidentally told Wade my secret identity.”

Ned’s eyes go wide. “Dude, seriously? How do you ‘accidentally’ do that?”

“Well, I referenced to myself using my name. And I took off my mask around him.”

“You did _what_? Isn’t that, like, Very Not Allowed, or something?”

“Usually. Honestly, though, he already knew my name, so I didn’t see the point.”

“Okay, this is important. Does he just know your first name?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Then what were you thinking! There’s a million Peters out there, and he knows what your face looks like!”

Peter just _stares_ at him for a few seconds before face palming. “Oh my God,” he says.

“Yeah.”

“You don’t think he'll _do_ something, do you?”

“I dunno man, you’re the one who hangs out with him all the time.”

“I mean, I trust him, you know. But I can’t help but wonder if I made the wrong choice. I didn’t really have an option with Venom and Eddie because they figured it out on their own, but I _willingly_ told Wade my secret identity. Well, accidentally, I guess, but it didn’t even feel like it was a big thing then.”

“I think, you need to trust yourself. If you don’t consider it a bad thing, then you’re good.”

“Really?”

“Really. Oh, and about that whole ‘you rehabilitating Venom and Deadpool’ thing, do Tony and May know yet?”

Peter’s eyes widen. “No. Why would I tell them?”

Ned shrugs. “I was just curious. They’re gonna find out eventually, you know. They might even be proud of you, if a bit overprotect-y and worried for your safety.”

“I’m never telling them, no matter how proud they _might_ be. I’ll take that secret to my _grave_ if I have to.”

Ned chuckles. “It definitely won’t come to that.”

“I know,” Peter admits. “But I’m still gonna do my best. They _can’t_ know.”

“Whatever you say, dude.”

**. . .**

“Bruce! Hey, Bruce!”

The man in question turns around to see Tony running towards him.

“Tony? What do you want?”

“I’ve got some science-y things I need your help with.”

“My kind of science, or yours?”

“More your kind. Wanna help?”

“Sure, why not,” Bruce says, following Tony.

“Great! Have you ever heard of a chemical called phenylethylamine?”

“Uh, rings a vague bell.”

“Sometimes called the love drug? It’s in chocolate.”

“Yeah, I know. What about it?”

“Well, I’ve been doing some research into it lately, and there’s something about it I’m not finding. I think there was this study a few months ago, I can’t remember what it was about for the life of me, but it mentioned phenylethylamine and I think it mentioned its drawbacks. There also might’ve been aliens, but I really just skimmed that.”

Bruce pauses. “Well . . .” he starts slowly. “There was this thing by The Life Foundation that was found after all that business went down. A lot of people tried to cover the details of that up, but they asked me and a few other guys to look at some of their research to see what was going on there.” He glances around nervously. “I really shouldn’t be telling you any of this. Is—do you really need to know about this?”

“Yeah.”

Bruce sighs. “Okay then. Well, they’d been doing some experiments on these things they called ‘Symbiotes’. We weren’t even sure they really existed at first, but based on what we found . . . Anyway, most of the stuff was just the ravings of a madman, making a perfect assimilation or something. See, the Symbiotes are a kinda parasitic organism, they take over a host and wring them dry before moving on to the next one.”

“That’s . . . honestly, terrifying. But what about the phenylethylamine, that’s what’s important here.”

“Well, the symbiotes were chewing through their hosts, even though they were being kept fed and watered and stuff, so some of the scientists theorized that the Symbiotes needed more than what they were getting. They made a list of chemicals they thought would help, and ones they thought would hurt. Phenylethylamine was one of the top contenders for the ‘help’ category.”

“Oh God.”

“What?”

“Well, the reason I asked was because of Spider-Man.”

“The kid you introduced us to a while back, Peter Parker? What’s this have to do with him?”

“Well, earlier this month he asked me to help him make some phenylethylamine pills for a friend of his at school because they couldn’t afford them anymore.”

“That’s not odd, those pills are used for lots of things.”

“Yeah, I know that. What’s odd is how much was in the pills. About how much one or two regular people produce a day.”

“That _is_ pretty weird. Did you ask him why?”

“No, what was I supposed to say? I trust him, Bruce. He’s a good kid, but I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something really wrong about this.”

“Do you think he has one of those Symbiote things?”

Tony sighs. “After what you’ve told me, I’m leaning toward yes. That, or he has a friend who’s got one.”

“We need to do something about that, we can’t just let one of those things loose, who knows what would happen!” Bruce exclaims, sounding a bit panicked.

“I know, I know. I just need to find a way to get the information without spooking him.”

“Don’t you have audio and video recording in his suit?”

“Well, yeah, but I had to take it out because one of his friends kept disabling it.”

“Then just put it back in.”

“Well, I suppose I could. I’d have to hide it though, and it would only be one. What do you think, audio or video?”

“Audio, definitely.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. Hey, F.R.I.D.A.Y. when’s my next meeting with Peter?”

“One week, sir.”

“Damn. Guess I’ll have to wait.”

“I wouldn’t worry too much, Tony. He’s a smart kid.”

“He’s also a very kind one, and while I usually wouldn’t knock that, if he’s goin’ around picking up alien hitchhikers, then I’m really gonna have to give him a good talking to.”

Bruce chuckles. “Well, hopefully there’s nothing going on.”

“Yeah,” Tony says quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also really glad with the last two chapters because I finally addressed some things I hadn't done yet: Wade's character motivation and the Overarching Plot. (Which I totally had planned from the beginning and didn't just come up with on the fly within the last month-ish, how dare you insinuate).


	6. Be Aware of how Your Actions Affect Others

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I saw the new Spider-Man movie the other day, and it was great! No spoilers, but I just really liked it. Anyways, enjoy the new chapter!

“Mary, do we really need to get all this done now?” Eddie whines, carefully wrapping the mug in his hands in some old newspaper. “We’ve still got the rest of the month until we move.”

“I know, dude, but if we get this done now, then we don’t have to do it later. And I, for one, would rather have the peace of mind knowing we’re ready a good few days before we need to start moving everything.”

“Yeah, I get that,” he says begrudgingly. “Speaking of the move, are we hiring anybody, or what?”

“Well, I was thinking it would just be us. And Venom, of course, they’ll be a big help with the heavier stuff.”

** What about Wade and Peter? I do not want to do everything. **

“Lazy,” Eddie mutters. “Actually, I’ve got some friends who offered to help.”

“Really? When’d you have the time to make new friends?”

“Hey! I can be social, if I want. And I met them at the Bugle. Well, one of them. The other I just . . . started talking to in the store.”

“Oh. Well, you tell your friends they’re more than welcome to help us. What’re their names?”

“Wade and Peter.”

“Peter like that guy on the phone from a couple weeks ago?”

“The very same.”

“Cool. Anyways, you done with the mugs yet?”

“Almost.”

“Great. When you’re finished with that, we’ll be done for the day.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. We’ve gotten enough done.”

“Thank God,” Eddie says, wrapping up the last mug.

“No need to be so dramatic, we didn’t even do all that much.”

“Yeah, I know. I just got a lot on my mind, I guess,” he says, walking over to the couch.

“Like what?”

“Eh, work stuff, mostly,” he says, and it isn’t exactly a lie. Patrolling technically counted as work, right? Not to mention his day job, which, while pretty fun most of the time, could definitely be draining.

“I get that. Too bad it’s not Friday yet.”

“Nope. Two days left, though, so we’re almost there.”

“Final stretch.”

“Yep.”

Mary nods and takes a pointed breath. “Well, good night,” she says, standing.

“ ‘Night.”

“Love you,” she says before turning off the light.

“Love you too.”

**. . . **

Venom wasn’t feeling good. Hadn’t, actually, for the past few days. It wasn’t anything super alarming, but the fact that they felt weird at all was. Klyntar didn’t get sick.

They sigh. Peter had probably messed something up with those pills and they weren’t taking enough. Slowly, they reach out to Eddie’s suitcase and take the bottle out. This will help, they think, opening it and absorbing some of the pills.

It’s only an hour or so later when nothing really seems to be improving do they think to bother Eddie.

** Eddiiieee. Eddiiieee, wake uuup. **

“Jus’ five more min’tes.”

** Eddiiieee. **

“What?”

** Do not feel good. **

“Me neither, V. Me neither.”

** Should not feel like this. **

“Consider it a part of the human experience. Waking up and feeling awful.”

** Something is wrong. **

“Are you sure? Or are you just overblowing things and being cranky?”

There’s a pause.

“That’s what I thought. And now, you will learn the traditional human art of bullshitting. It can take many forms, but today we are gonna make it through work acting like a regular person who doesn’t feel kinda drunk and hungover at the same time.”

** Yay,  ** Venom says, unenthusiastically.

“That’s the spirit,” Eddie says, sitting up and wincing. His head was _not_ liking him today.

**. . . **

“Eddie,” Peter stage whispers, walking up to his desk. “Eddie,” he says a little louder when he doesn’t say anything.

“Hm? Oh, hey. What is it?”

“Karen’s got a lead on a drug lab, so we’re gonna go check that out in a bit. I’m going to Wade’s, so meet there when you get off.”

“Yeah, got it,” Eddie mumbles distractedly. “See ya there.”

Peter narrows his eyes. “Are you alright?”

“What? Oh, don’t worry about us, we’re fine. Just a little headache.”

“If you say so,” Peter says, obviously not believing him. “See you soon.”

“Yep. Bye, kid.”

Peter gives him one last, odd look before walking away.

“Ugh,” Eddie groans, slumping in his chair. “And here I thought we’d get some peace and quiet tonight.”

Venom chuckles. **It would seem not,** they say, not sounding all that disappointed.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” Eddie accuses.

Venom pauses. **No.** They say, sounding a little confused. **I do not . . .** They trail off and start laughing. **Not sure how you mean.**

“Now I think I should ask if you’re okay.”

** We are . . . fine. Everything is . . . all right. **

“If you’re sure,” Eddie says, feeling uneasy.

**. . . **

“And you’re sure this is the right place?” Wade asks.

“For the last time, yes,” Peter says, exasperated.

“Hey, I’m just making sure we don’t barge in on some poor unsuspecting people who _aren’t_ doing anything illegal.”

“Good point, but Karen found it, and I did a bit of staking out, so I am very sure.”

** “Then let’s go!”  ** Venom exclaims, jumping down.

“Wait, what are you—” Peter starts, but Venom was already through the doors. “Dang it,” he says, swinging down with Wade following close behind.

The ensuing fight doesn’t last more than a few minutes, and mostly involves Wade and Peter trying to reign Venom in from going a little too far on the whole ‘justice’ thing.

“Look, V, what is going on with you today?” Peter asks after the bad guys have all been webbed up.

** “Why, whatever do you mean?”  ** they ask, grinning and laughing to themself.

“Well, you’re acting all . . . giddy.”

** “What’s wrong with that?” **

Wade and Peter exchange an apprehensive look.

“Nothing’s wrong with that, exactly,” Wade starts, shifting uncomfortably. “It’s just not very . . . _you_.”

** “Being all serious is not very _you_ either,” ** they say, tapping his nose.

Peter blinks. “Hey, why don’t you go check on them over there,” he says, nodding to the people tied up in the corner.

** “Okay,” ** Venom says merrily, walking away.

“So, that just happened,” Peter says, turning to Wade.

“Yeah, what was that, by the way? They’re acting really weird. More so than usual.”

“Much more so. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say they were drunk, or high, or something. But Venom _can’t_ get drunk, or high, or anything like that.”

“Maybe it was something they ate?” Wade suggests. “I’m pretty sure I saw them eating out of the garbage once. Or it was just a really big rat.”

“I don’t know.” He pauses. “Actually . . .”

“Actually?”

Peter breathes in angrily and shakes his head. “I hope I’m wrong, but if they’ve been taking too much of those pills I gave them, then that might cause them to act like this. If I’m right, then I’m gonna . . . I don’t know, but it won’t be good.”

“Whoa, calm down there Spidey. I’m sure Eddie has been keeping an eye on things, so it was probably just something weird they ate.”

“Maybe. But they’ve been acting weird even these past few days. He was interviewing me as Spider-Man a bit ago, and he just seemed really off. I couldn’t even really place it, something was just wrong.”

“Yeah, now that I think about it, you might be right. Just last Saturday, we were hanging out, and, like you said, something was just off with both of them, it was pretty weird.”

“You guys hung out last Saturday?”

“Hey, we’re allowed to have lives outside of you. I can have friends.”

“I wasn’t saying—”

He’s cut off by a loud crash followed by a small explosion.

They whirl around and see Venom standing amongst various items scattered across the floor. A few things are on fire, and there’s scorch marks on the ground.

“Venom!” Peter exclaims. “What did you do?!”

** “Nothing,” ** they say, almost guiltily.

“I can’t believe it,” Peter mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I just—okay, put out that fire, I’m gonna go call the cops. You should probably help them,” he says tiredly to Wade.

**. . . **

After the police arrive, they relocate to a nearby rooftop and Peter immediately turns to Venom, who was sitting fiddling with their hands. “Okay,” he starts. “I need to know _exactly_ how many pills you’ve had in the past few days.”

** “Why?” **

“Because—look, just tell me, okay.”

** “We have been taking the recommended dose,”  ** Venom says, feigning seriousness. They glance around like they were worried someone was listening in and lean towards Peter. **“Do not tell Peter, but we have been taking some when Eddie was not looking.”** They start laughing.

“I knew it!” Peter exclaims, starting to pace. “Gah, I can’t _believe_ you.”

** "Why is the Spiderling upset with us?" ** They whisper, sounding confused.

Peter stops and just _stares_ at them.

Venom blinks.

"Okay," Wade says slowly. "I think we all need to calm down and take a deep breath."

"Calm down? Calm. Down. Really? You want me to—after they did one of the most _irresponsible_ things, that I _explicitly_ warned them against?” Peter rubs his forehead. “You know, sometimes I feel like you guys aren’t taking this seriously. Or at least not as much as you should be. This isn’t a game, it’s real life. And neither of you really seem to appreciate the weight of that.”

Wade looks down at his feet and awkwardly scuffs the ground, unsure what to say.

Peter sighs. “Look, why don’t we just get him home.” He turns to Venom. “I need you to, like . . .” he flutters his fingers around. “Disappear, or something.”

They tilt their head. **“What?”**

“You know. That thing you do where you . . .” he gestures vaguely.

** “Where we what?” **

“I dunno, melt or something. Just, I need to see Eddie.”

** “Why?” **

“So I can take you guys home.”

** “Why?” **

“Because you’re not getting there on your own.”

** “Why?” **

“Because—I just need to see Eddie, okay?”

** “Okay,” ** Venom says cheerily, retreating under Eddie’s skin.

“What d’ya want?” he asks, looking at them with unfocused eyes.

“Nothing. Come on, we’re taking you home,” Peter says, helping Eddie up and slinging his arm over his shoulder. “Little help?”

“Yeah, sure,” Wade says, moving over to Eddie’s other side. “Do you know where he lives?”

Peter glances away. “Uh, yeah. It’s not too far.”

“Great! Then let’s get going.”

**. . . **

It was about 8:00, and Mary had just gotten home from work, ready to veg out until she had to sleep. A quick glance around told her Eddie was still out, so she had the whole place to herself. Smiling, she sets her stuff down and stretches a bit before walking to her room and changing into her ‘lounge clothes’.

On her way out, she grabs a book and settles down on the couch, putting on some quiet background music. She breathes in contentedly.

Just as she opens her book, a loud knock comes from the door. She glares at it, and steadfastly ignores it. There’s a second knock, this one louder and more insistent.

Sighing, Mary puts her book down and gets up. She looks through the peephole and freezes. “Eddie!” she exclaims, quickly opening the door.

“H’llo,” he mumbles, looking at her with half-closed eyes.

The next thing she notices is the two people holding him up.

“Hey, you must be Mary,” Spider-Man says.

“Yeah,” she whispers. She shakes her head. “What happened to him?” she asks, worry seeping her tone.

“Oh, it’s a long story, nothing we could explain here. I’d ask him when he wakes up. Can we—” he starts, nodding to inside her apartment.

“Yeah,” she says quietly, opening the door a little more and stepping back.

They walk inside and take Eddie to the couch and lay him down.

“Will he be alright?”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t worry about it. Just make sure he gets enough water and food and stuff.”

“I will.”

“Okay then, we’ll just—” he starts inching towards the door.

“Wait! How do you . . .” she trails off, unsure of what to say.

They pause and glance at each other.

“It’s a long story . . .” Deadpool says lamely.

“Just ask him when he wakes up,” Spider-Man pleads.

“But—”

“Please,” they say desperately.

She narrows her eyes. “Fine.”

Spider-Man sighs in relief and they start walking away.

“Thanks for bringing him home.”

“No problem,” Deadpool says.

They close the door behind them and Mary lets out a breath.

“Oh my God,” she says, panic setting in.

She’d just met _Spider-Man_ and _Deadpool_. In her _lounge clothes_. And they knew who she was! They knew her name! And, apparently, Eddie was friends with them? What? When did that happen?!

She takes a deep breath. Okay. She would get answers later when Eddie woke up. Hopefully. Speaking of . . .

She walks over to the couch. Eddie was asleep, snoring softly.

“Venom,” she stage whispers.

Nothing.

That was odd. They never really slept at all, even when Eddie was. She bites the inside of her cheek. They’d be fine, right? Spider-Man said they’d be.

Tamping down the uneasy feeling in her chest, she picks up her book and settles in the chair.

**. . . **

“I just—I still can’t believe they’d do this,” Peter says, shaking his head.

“I know, right,” Ned says, feigning sincerity. “It’s almost like they’ve got a history of disobedience.”

Peter gives him a Look. “Yeah, okay, I know that. But still! I _warned_ them about this. And I’ve been trying to work with them on all this, so forgive me if I was expecting a little responsibility.”

“From what you’ve told me, I wouldn’t expect them to be capable of anything like that.”

Peter opens his mouth to say something, but pauses. “Well . . . I mean . . . they’re not _so_ bad.”

Ned chuckles. “Yeah, sure, dude.”

“I . . . it’s just . . . they need to be more responsible!”

“Obviously. What you need to do is—MJ! Hey, wha—what are you doing here?”

“Uh, looking for a seat. It _is_ fine if I sit here, right?”

“Oh, yeah, sure, sure.” Peter says, a little flustered.

“So, what were you guys talking about?” she asks, sitting down.

“Hm? Nothing, just . . . stuff.”

“Stuff?”

“Yeah, stuff,” Ned says lamely.

She nods. “Well, don’t let me stop you.”

**. . . **

When Eddie wakes up, he doesn’t really wake up. His brain feels fuzzy, his limbs are heavy, and he can’t really tell where he is. “V?” he mumbles. “Wha’s happ’ning?”

“So, you’re finally awake?”

Eddie blearily opens his eyes and looks in the direction of the voice. “Mary?”

“Yeah. What happened to you?”

“I . . . I don’t know.”

“Really? Then why did _Spider-Man and Deadpool_ drop you off yesterday?”

Eddie pauses. “They, uh . . . they did what?”

Mary sighs. “Come on, Eddie, don’t play stupid.” She narrows her eyes. “Unless . . . you don’t remember, do you?”

“Not really. Yesterday’s a bit of a blur.”

“Well, do you at least know how you got all,” she gestures vaguely. “Weird.”

“No.”

“Does Venom?”

“They aren’t saying anything.”

“Are they alright?”

Eddie furrows his eyebrows. “Um, not sure.” He closes his eyes and mentally reaches out. After a few seconds, he senses Venom, curled up in some corner of his mind. He pokes the lump and Venom hisses weakly at him. “I think they’re just feeling as crappy as I am right now.”

“As long as you’re both okay. But, what’s this deal with Deadpool and Spider-Man? Are you, like, friends or something?”

“Eh, kinda. I met Spidey through the articles I do, I interview him every now and again. Deadpool’s a . . . friend of his.”

“Oh. That’s pretty cool. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Just never came up.”

“Uh-huh. Sure.”

Eddie glances away and notices the clock on the wall. “Shouldn’t you be at work right now?”

“I called in sick. Called you in too.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem. You didn’t seem like you were goin’ anywhere anytime soon.”

“Yeah. I really don’t feel good.”

“You want my bed? It’s more comfy than the couch.”

“No, no, I’m fine.”

“That’s something that people say when they’re lying. Come on, get up,” she says, standing and tugging on his arm.

“No, really, I’m fine.”

“Nuh-uh, you’re not,” she says, helping him up.

“Maryyy,” he whines.

“Eddiiieee,” she mocks, opening her door.

“Thanks,” he murmurs, laying down.

“You’re welcome. Get some sleep, and if you need anything, just holler.”

“I will.”

“Get better,” she emphasizes, walking away.

**. . . **

A little after 3:00, there’s a knock on the door and Mary just sighs. She never liked answering the door, and Eddie seemed a veritable magnet for people just showing up at random. She walks over and looks through the peephole.

She opens the door. “What do you want?” she asks, probably more suspiciously than she should.

“I need to talk to Eddie,” Spider-Man says.

“He’s asleep.”

“I still need to talk to him.”

“Why?”

“Because . . . well, it’s—”

“A long story?”

“Yeah.” He shifts uncomfortably. “Please?”

Mary narrows her eyes. “Fine,” she says, stepping back. “He’s in my room.”

“Thanks,” he says, walking inside.

“No problem,” she mutters.

Peter smiles awkwardly and walks back to what he could only assume was Mary’s room. Eddie was in there, at least. Sadly, he was also asleep.

“Eddie,” he whispers, nudging him. “Eddie, wake up.”

“Hm? Peter?”

“Hey, careful with the name.”

“Sorry. What d’you want?”

Peter glances around and closes the door. “Look, dude, we need to talk.”

“Yeah, I know,” Eddie says, sitting up and wincing. “What happened yesterday?”

“You don’t remember?” Peter asks, sitting in Mary’s desk chair and taking his mask off.

“No.”

He sighs. “Of course not. Can I talk to Venom?”

“They’re not feeling too good right now.”

“Well, if I talk to you, can they still hear me?”

“Uh, yeah, I think.”

“Good. Venom’s been taking too many of those phenylethylamine pills.”

“What? Really?”

“Yes. It’s why you can’t remember yesterday, and why you feel so awful now. You’re going through withdrawal.”

“Wait, isn’t that just my body, like, crashing and rebooting, or something?”

“Nope.”

“But . . . no, I’m not . . .”

“Eddie. It’s not your fault. And this is what I need to say to Venom. Something really bad could’ve happened because of this. You were way off your game yesterday, and because of that, me or Wade could’ve gotten really hurt. Not to mention what you’re doing to yourself. _And_ Eddie.”

Peter pauses and sighs. “Look, you need to be more responsible. Rule six, be aware of how your actions affect others.”

“Yeah, we know.”

“You say that, but actions always speak louder than words. And, honestly, I’m having a bit of a hard time trusting you right now.”

“Understandable.”

“Exactly. So, I figured out what I need to do. Since I can’t trust either you or Venom with the pills, I’m gonna talk to your sister and have her regulate everything.”

Eddie groans. “Is that really necessary?”

“Yep. I don’t want to do this, Eddie. But I have to.”

“Yeah, I guess,” he mutters.

“Hey, I’m doing this because I care about your well-being. Mary does to, and since you live together, she can regulate it better than I can.”

“I get it. And, thanks.”

“No problem. I’ll be around tomorrow to check up on you,” he says, pulling on his mask.

“Okay. See ya then.”

“Yeah, see ya,” he says, opening the door and walking out.

“You guys have a nice chat?” Mary asks.

“Uh, yeah, we did. And, Mary? There’s a few things I need to talk to you about.


	7. Don't Discount the Element of Surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, I am on a roll! Enjoy the new chapter!

Tony was pacing. He wasn’t sure for how long, but it was enough for him to get tired of the argument he was currently having with himself. Peter is fine, no he isn’t, he wouldn’t lie to you, what if he’s being coerced, you’re overreacting, how dare you insinuate. On and on it raged.

“Mr. Stark?” a voice behind him says.

Tony turns around and relaxes. “Oh, hey. When’d you get here?”

“A few minutes ago. Why were you pacing?”

“Just thinking, you know how I get. So, you brought the suit, right?”

“Yeah,” Peter says, taking off his backpack and opening it. “You said you had some new stuff to add to it?”

“Yep,” Tony says, and it isn’t exactly a lie. He’d come up with a few things so he could disguise why he _really_ needed to access Peter’s suit. “Just bring it over here and we can get started.”

The next hour goes smoothly, at least as far as Tony can tell. The upgrades get added, along with the audio recording, and Peter doesn’t suspect a thing. Their conversation was dying down, and he was still patting himself on the back for a job well done.

He was also running through everything he knew so far and analyzing Peter’s behavior to see if anything jumped out. There wasn’t anything so far, and it was too bad he couldn’t just ask. Unless . . .

“Hey, Pete, how’ve those pills been working for your friend?”

Peter freezes. Suspicious.

“Uh, good, I guess. So far, at least,” he says, after a few seconds.

Tony nods. “That’s great.”

“Yeah,” Peter says quietly, looking away. Doubly suspicious.

Tony sighs. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Peter doesn’t look back and starts biting the inside of his cheek. “Yeah, I know.”

“And I do mean that. I’m here for you, anything you need.”

Peter nods, obviously uncomfortable.

Tony narrows his eyes. Very suspicious. “Anyways,” he starts, “Why don’t we go try out some of the new features?”

Peter perks up. “That sounds good,” he says, getting up and walking over to the suit.

Tony spins in his seat and stares at the ceiling. Something was definitely going on. Something Peter couldn’t tell him. Whatever it was, he’d find out soon, hopefully.

**. . .**

Something was wrong. Something was _very_ wrong, Peter thinks to himself, pacing on the rooftop. (Bad habits, he picked them up like anti-heroes). Why was Tony suddenly telling him he could go to him to talk? Did he think something was going on? Or, worse, did he know about Venom and Wade? Did he think they were bullying him?

Peter stops and takes a deep breath. It was fine. It would be fine. Tony didn’t know, or he would’ve said something directly. He wasn’t exactly subtle.

**“Spiderling!”**

Peter jumps and immediately starts struggling in the strong arms that had captured him before he realized who it was.

“Venom!” he exclaims indignantly. “Put me down!”

They set him on the ground and he turns and glares at them. “Is Mary regulating your pills properly, because otherwise I want a _very_ good reason for why you suddenly decided it was alright to sneak up on people and scare them half to death! We don’t even have patrol, why are you out here tonight?”

 **“We were shopping,”** they say, gesturing at some bags a few feet away. **“It’s our turn, and we sensed you up here and wanted to say hi.”**

“Like that?”

**“Do you not have some kind of sixth sense for things like sudden sneak attacks?”**

Peter pauses. He did, in fact, have one, but it never seemed to work on Venom. Not that he would _ever_ tell them that. “Yeah, but it’s not always super accurate,” he decides to say. It wasn’t even that much of a lie, because it could be pretty unreliable at times.

**“That’s too bad.”**

“You’re telling me,” he mutters. “Anyway, you guys have fun on your shopping trip?”

**“Yes. Eddie even let us pick off the list a little.”**

“That’s nice. How’s Mary doing? Still not freaking out about how you know Spider-Man?”

**“She got over it pretty quickly. Although she said that when we next see you, we were to tell you that she thinks you are crazy to want to hang out with us for any extended period of time. She also thinks it’s sweet you care about us so much, but says you need to be nicer. And be ready to get a sweater for Christmas.”**

Peter chuckles. “You’re lying.”

**“Maybe.”**

He pauses. “You are lying, right?”

Venom shrugs and picks up the grocery bags. **“Who knows. Bye,”** they say, walking away

Peter lets out a breath and shakes his head. “Maybe I am a bit crazy,” he says considerably, going to the edge of the roof and jumping.

**. . .**

“And then he was all, ‘it doesn’t always work’, and I’m thinking, ‘that’s a pretty crap superpower if it only works _sometimes_ ’.”

Wade chuckles. “He was _so_ lying.”

“Really? How do you know?” Eddie asks, intrigued.

“Insider knowledge. It doesn’t work that well on people he trusts.”

“Interesting. I really don’t know how to feel about that.”

“It could also just be Venom.”

“How so?”

“Well, they’re alien, right? So maybe Peter’s earthly sensibilities aren’t affected by them and they just don’t register on his radar, or something.”

“Good point.”

**“Or we just have the more superior superpowers, and he drew the short end of the stick.”**

“You never know.” Wade pauses. “You know what we should do.”

“What?”

“Conduct an experiment. Like we’re in grade five again!”

“Wouldn’t it just be easier to ask him?”

“Probably. But I bet he wouldn’t give us a straight answer. It’d probably just be something like he told you, and then we never get anywhere. Plus, this’ll be more fun.”

“Yeah,” Eddie admits. “How’re we gonna test this, though?”

“You’re getting too far ahead of yourself. The first thing we do is ask a question. In this case it’s how, specifically, do we affect Peter’s six-sense-thing. Then we formulate a hypothesis.”

“You’re really going through with this, aren’t you?”

“Aw, c’mon. You can’t tell me that this doesn’t intrigue you. Pique your interest, even a little?”

“Well . . .”

“Exactly. So, hypothesis. What do you think he’s been hiding from us?”

**. . .**

**Peter:** _patrol tonight, meet at 8_

“See, what did I tell you,” Wade says triumphantly, holding up his phone. “He’s so predictable.”

“Yeah, yeah” Eddie mutters. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Of course. Would I lie to you?”

“I’m not gonna answer that.”

“Fair. But, this is the best time to start. Think, he’s just waiting for us on that open rooftop, all vulnerable and unassuming.”

“I’m pretty sure that sentence crosses into creep territory.”

“Stop trying to change the subject. Are you ready, or not?”

“No.”

“Hey, no backing out now, you agreed to this.”

“I agreed to help you try to scare Peter. I did not agree to jump out at him like I’m someone working a cheap haunted house.”

“Same thing.”

“No, not really. If you wanna go debase yourself, have fun, but leave me out of it.”

“You have to do _something_. We need to know if one, Peter can’t sense Venom, and two, if it only works when they’re not hidden.”

Eddie pauses and considers this. “Fine. But I’m not jumping out at him.”

“Then what are you gonna do?”

“I’ll just walk up to him quietly and says hi, or something.”

“That won’t work.”

“It’s essentially the same thing. Don’t tell me you’ve never been accidentally startled by a quiet friend saying something.”

“None of my friends are all that quiet.”

“Well, trust me, it happens.”

Wade groans. “Fiiine. You have no sense of drama.”

“It’s called dignity, maybe you’ve heard of it?”

“I have, and between you and Venom, you don’t have any.”

“Wrong. I’ve still got some left, and I’d like to keep it that way.”

Wade scoffs. “Whatever. We’d better get over there quick so Pete doesn’t scold us for being late. Again.”

“Good idea.”

**. . .**

The clock had just struck 8:00 and Peter began counting the minutes. It wasn’t like he expected them to arrive on the dot, but being early never hurt anyone. As long as it was within 5 minutes, he could usually overlook it, but anything over that was unacceptable. New York was not that big.

“Hey!”

Peter whirls around and lets out a breath. “Hey, Eddie,” he says lamely, shaking his head.

“I didn’t scare you, did I?” He sounds much too pleased with himself.

“What? No, of course not.”

Eddie chuckles. “Yeah, sure, kid.”

Peter huffs indignantly and turns away.

Wade shows up a few seconds later and Eddie gives him a thumbs up. He grins and raises his fist in triumph. Peter narrows his eyes. Suspicious.

**. . .**

 “He just seemed really proud of himself for some reason. And not in a good way.”

“Well, Eddie’s a pretty weird guy, so it’s probably just nothing.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Peter says quietly. “Hey, follow me. I know a shortcut,” he says, turning into the alley.

“Because alleys are always the best way to travel,” Ned mutters, reluctantly following him.

“Hey, you’ve got me in case anything goes wrong. Which it won’t. Trust me, I’ve done this plenty of times.”

Something suddenly drops in front of them, and Peter just barely notices the glint of a sword  before it was at his throat.

His eyes widen in shock and fear before he recognizes who was in front of him. “Wade?” he asks, shocked.

“Spidey?” he says, feigning confusion.

“Can you—” he glances down at the katana still at his throat.

“Oh, right, sorry,” Wade says, pulling it away and sheathing them.

“Peter,” Ned says carefully.

“Hm. Who’s he?”

“A friend” Peter says quickly. “What were you doing?!”

“I thought you were a shady person.”

“Oh, yeah, those high schoolers, super dangerous.”

“I couldn’t tell from all the way up there!”

“You still don’t just do that!”

“Wait, did I scare you or something?”

Peter pauses. “No, but look at my poor friend,” he says, gesturing to Ned, who’s eyes were still wide.

“I totally got you, you’re embarrassed.”

“Am not!” Peter exclaims indignantly.

“You so are,” Wade says smugly. “It’s alright, not everyone can be perfect all the time. Anyways, see ya later,” he says, walking away.

“You know, I really can’t believe him sometimes.”

“Uh-huh,” Ned says distantly.

**. . .**

“Bye, Eddie,” Peter says, getting on the elevator.

“Yeah, bye,” Eddie replies, shuffling some papers on his desk.

**Now.**

“Wait, what? We can’t go now, there’s people around.”

**Not if we catch him at the right time.**

“True. He swings home from work sometimes, right?”

**Yes.**

Eddie sighs. “Alright, I guess we can finish this tomorrow. Let’s go,” he says, getting up.

**. . .**

“And you’re sure this is a good idea.”

**Of course. Just trust us on this, Eddie.**

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s just get this over with.”

 **Aw, come on,** they say, creeping over his skin. **“It will be fun.”**

_If you say so._

**“We do. Now, where is the little Spiderling?”** Venom asks, looking around. **“There!”** they exclaim, catching a glimpse of red streaking across the sky.

_Y’know he really should be more careful. Just putting on his mask doesn’t really do much._

**“Agreed. Maybe we can scare him into doing better?”**

_I doubt it. He’s close, get ready._

**I know what I am doing.**

Peter starts swinging around one of the buildings and Venom jumps out of their hiding spot and tackles him onto an adjacent rooftop.

Peter immediately starts struggling when he feels himself being grabbed and pulled off course. A little voice in the back of his head tells him it might just be Venom again, but fear overwhelms it and he continues fighting.

 **“Boo!”** Venom says, letting go of him. Peter feels his fear evaporate into anger.

“What the heck were you thinking!” he exclaims, turning to them. “You can’t just jump people like that!”

**“Lighten up, Spiderling, we were just having a bit of fun.”**

“ ‘Lighten up’? Seriously? After you—you attacked me?”

 **“We did nothing of the sort,”** Venom says indignantly.

“Really? Sure, fine, whatever. But seriously, what is going on? You’re up to something, I just know it. Spill.”

**“We are not up to anything.”**

Peter closes his eyes and breathes in deeply. “You know what, I don’t care. I really don’t, but you guys need to stop trying to scare me, okay? Because I’d like to live past my teen years and not die early on of a heart attack.”

 **“Do we still frighten you?”** Venom asks smugly.

“No,” Peter says lamely.

 **“We so do,”** Venom crows.

Peter sighs. “Whatever. I’m going home, and you two are going to _stop_ following me. No more stalking.”

**“We were not stalking you.”**

“Well, whatever it is, stop. Bye,” he says, walking away.

**“Bye.”**

**. . .**

Peter was afraid he was getting paranoid. Not that he didn’t have a good reason, but he didn’t like doubting people he was close to. But, he had to find out what Wade and Eddie were up to, and since they weren’t saying anything, he’d have to go looking.

It was surprisingly easy to keep tabs on Eddie, combined with one of his spider-trackers and some good old-fashioned shadowing. Which is why he was currently sitting outside Wade’s apartment window listening in on their conversation.

“It worked every time, you can’t deny that,” Eddie says.

“Yes, but we need more information. Going off of one incident each isn’t good enough to know for sure.”

“Well, we’re running out of excuses. At this rate, we’re gonna have to make a list.”

“That’s not so hard.”

“Really? Says the guy who likely hasn’t written anything seriously since college. I do this stuff for a living, and let me tell you, it’s not easy.”

“I never went to university,” Wade mumbles. “And I didn’t think it would be simple. I just meant that given enough time we could probably figure something out.”

“Yeah. Maybe not today, though, I’d like to enjoy my Friday.”

“Aw, c’mon, it’d be fun. Probably.”

“Eh, maybe. But, we should focus on what we know. One, the sixth sense doesn’t work on us. The only logical reason for that is, like you said before, he trusts us. Two, it also doesn’t work on Venom. Whether or not that’s because they’re alien, or Peter trusts them is up for debate.”

“Mayhaps it’s some combo of the two?”

“You never know.”

Deciding this was the best moment to jump in, Peter opens the window (which Wade had unlocked for some reason, he’d need to ask him about that) and goes through, exclaiming, “Aha! I knew you two were up to something!”

Eddie at least has the dignity to look embarrassed, but Wade and Venom just give him equally blank stares.

“Obviously,” Wade says breezily. “When are we _not_ up to something?”

Peter narrows his eyes. “I don’t wanna know. And is this really what all the jumping out at me’s been about? Figuring out how my Pet—uh, sixth sense works?”

**“Yes. We were intrigued after what happened on Monday and Wade suggested a science experiment.”**

“You could’ve just asked me.”

“That’s what I said!” Eddie interjects.

“But that wouldn’t’ve been _nearly_ as fun,” Wade points out.

“Fun for who?” Peter asks.

“Us.”

“You guys are insufferable.”

“And yet you still hang out with us.”

Peter opens his mouth to say something, but pauses. “Fair,” he admits. “But you still could’ve asked me.”

“Like you would’ve given us a straight answer,” Eddie says.

“I . . . well, I wouldn’t have _lied_ to you.”

“Exactly. We needed unbiased information.”

“So, you decided scaring me was the best way?”

“That wasn’t the objective, necessarily,” Wade says. “We just needed to see if you would know what we were doing before we did it. Scaring you was just a bonus.”

Peter sighs. “Just ask me next time, okay?”

“Maybe.”

He rolls his eyes. “Whatever. But is that really all you’ve been working on this week?”

Eddie gives him a Look. “Yes, because neither of us have a job, or any obligations outside of you. Obviously.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Well, yeah, basically.”

“Interesting. Too bad you didn’t learn anything I didn’t already know.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I heard you guys talking. And, yeah, I already know it doesn’t really work with people I trust, or Venom.”

“So we just wasted our time?” Wade asks.

“Pretty much. Which is why you should’ve _asked me_.”

“You still wouldn’t’ve told us anything.”

Peter pauses. “Maybe, maybe not. I guess we’ll never know,” he says accusatorily.

“You’re not gonna let this go, are you,” Eddie asks.

“Nope.”

“Yeah, thought so. It’s mostly your fault, though.”

“Really?”

“Uh-huh. You didn’t tell us what we wanted to know when we _did_ ask, so we had to change tactics.”

“You’re just making up excuses now. _You_ made the decision to scare me within an inch of my life.”

“Hey, we didn’t do anything out of line. And y’know what, how about this, rule seven, don’t discount the element of surprise.”

“Absolutely not.”

“You did say we could make up rules,” Wade points out.

“If they were relevant.”

“This one is. The element of surprise is very useful when dealing with bad guys. Also, look at your shirt.”

Peter glances down and groans when he realizes which of his science pun shirts he was wearing. There was a fake periodic table box with ‘Ah!’ inside it, and below were words that read, ‘The Element of surprise’.

“See? Entirely relevant.”

“Ugh, fine. And I really am serious, you guys are the worst.”

“We know. Wanna stay and play some video games?”

Peter sighs. “Yeah,” he says, walking over and sitting down on the couch.

**. . .**

Bruce wasn’t really sure what to expect when he got back to the Avengers Compound, but being suddenly ambushed by Tony Stark definitely hadn’t been something he’d considered.

“Bruce! You’re back!” Tony exclaims, practically leaping at him.

“Uh, yeah. Did something happen?”

“Well, I put the audio recording in Peter’s suit.”

“That’s great, have you gotten anything out of it yet?”

“No. Well, maybe.”

“Okay,” he says slowly. “Can I listen?”

“Yes, please, I need help,” Tony says, walking away.

Bruce follows him to one of the labs and Tony starts messing with the holograms. “I listened to all of it, but I’ve isolated the important bits. It’s . . . pretty weird, so prepare yourself.”

Bruce nods, and Tony presses a play button.

 

**_“Spiderling!”_ **

_“Venom! Put me down!”_

There’s a pause.

_Is Mary regulating your pills properly, because otherwise I want a very good reason for why you suddenly decided it was alright to sneak up on people and scare them half to death! We don’t even have patrol, why are you out here tonight?”_

**_“We were shopping. It’s our turn, and we sensed you up here and wanted to say hi.”_ **

_“Like that?”_

**_“Do you not have some kind of sixth sense for things like sudden sneak attacks?”_ **

There’s a pause.

_“Yeah, but it’s not always super accurate.”_

**_“That’s too bad.”_ **

_“You’re telling me. Anyway, you guys have fun on your shopping trip?”_

**_“Yes. Eddie even let us pick off the list a little.”_ **

_“That’s nice. How’s Mary doing? Still not freaking out about how you know Spider-Man?”_

**_“She got over it pretty quickly. Although she said that when we next see you, we were to tell you that she thinks you are crazy to want to hang out with us for any extended period of time. She also thinks it’s sweet you care about us so much, and says you need to be nicer. And be ready to get a sweater for Christmas.”_ **

Someone chuckles. _“You’re lying.”_

**_“Maybe.”_ **

There’s a pause.

_“You are lying, right?”_

**_“Who knows. Bye.”_ **

Someone lets out a breath. _“Maybe I am a bit crazy.”_

The recording ends, and Bruce gives Tony a puzzled look.

“Yeah, I know, right?”

“Well,” Bruce starts, putting on his best ‘I have a lot of P.H.D.’s’ voice. “It seems to be a conversation between Spider-Man and an unknown individual with a really messed up voice.”

“Yep. There were some names mentioned, Eddie and Mary, but without last names, I can’t do much. Peter also asked the guy with the weird voice if ‘Mary’ was regulating his pills properly, so we can assume that’s the symbiote he gave the pills to.”

“Right. They also seemed pretty familiar with each other.”

“Exactly! For some reason, Peter thought that was a good idea. I _really_ need to have a talk with him.”

“Well, maybe it’s not a bad thing. The symbiote didn’t really seem all that malicious from what I heard.”

“You also haven’t heard everything. F.R.I.D.A.Y., pull up audio file 3.”

“Yes sir.”

 

**_“Boo!”_ **

_“What the heck were you thinking! You can’t just jump people like that!”_

**_“Lighten up, Spiderling, we were just having a bit of fun.”_ **

_“ ‘Lighten up’? Seriously? After you—you attacked me?”_

**_“We did nothing of the sort.”_ **

_“Really? Sure, fine, whatever. But seriously, what is going on? You’re up to something, I just know it. Spill.”_

**_“We are not up to anything.”_ **

Someone takes a deep breath. _“You know what, I don’t care. I really don’t, but you guys need to stop trying to scare me, okay? Because I’d like to live past my teen years and not die early on of a heart attack.”_

**_“Do we still frighten you?”_ **

_“No.”_

**_“We so do.”_ **

Someone sighs. _“Whatever. I’m going home, and you two are going to_ stop _following me. No more stalking.”_

**_“We were not stalking you.”_ **

_“Well, whatever it is, stop. Bye.”_

**_“Bye.”_ **

****

Bruce nods. “That’s, uh, not so good.”

“Nope. We need to figure out who this ‘Venom’ character is, and fast.”


	8. Keep Up to Date with Current Events

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's a bit shorter than usual, but I hope you all like it!

“We’re going out tonight,” Peter whispers, walking up to Eddie’s desk. “Meet on the roof in 10 minutes.”

“Tonight, are you sure? Those rainclouds don’t look too promising.”

“It’ll be fine, just be there.”

Peter walks away and Eddie sighs and rubs his forehead. “If it starts raining while we’re out there, I’m blaming him.”

**We could go and check.**

“Nah, there’s nothing on the windows.”

**We have to go soon.**

“Yep.”

**Then we might as well go now.**

“I’m working.”

**But this is boring.**

“It’s . . . shut up,” Eddie mutters.

A wave of smugness washes over him and he pointedly ignores it.

**. . .**

**Now,** Venom says, a few minutes later.

“No.”

**Three minutes.**

“Really?” Eddie asks, glancing at his clock. “Fine, let’s go,” he says, turning off his computer and getting up.

He casually goes out to an elevator, takes it up to the highest floor, and walks over to the roof access staircase.

“There has to be a better way to do this,” Eddie mutters, anxiously glancing around the hallway while Venom picks the lock.

**Not unless you have a key.**

“Nope,” he says, opening the door.

“Eddie?”

“Wade? What are you doing here?”

“Hiding out from the storm,” he says, going down the rest of the stairs.

“I knew it! This is all Peter’s fault, I  _ told _ him it was gonna rain.”

“Speaking of, where  _ is _ Peter?”

“I dunno, I think Betty had him go on a coffee run, or something. He’ll be back soon, we should probably tell him we can’t go out tonight.”

“Yeah. Lead the way.”

**. . .**

“I still can’t believe he didn’t consider it,” Wade says, stepping off the elevator. “You guys work in a news building, don’t you know the weather?”

“We’re not wired into it or anything dude, that’s a different floor altogether.”

“Well, still. Rain clouds usually mean rain.”

“I know, right,” Eddie says, sitting down at his desk.

“Kids, I swear, they never think things through. When do you think he’ll be back?”

Eddie glances at the clock. “Soon.”

“That’s very vague.”

“Hey, I’m not a fortune teller. Just give him a minute or so.”

“Ugh,” Wade groans, sitting down at one of the empty desks. There weren’t many people around right now, and the ones there weren’t paying them any mind. “What are we gonna do though? If not going out and kicking butt.”

“I dunno. Maybe get some food?”

“Yeah, but I don’t really feel like spending a lot of time in the rain. Maybe we can go back to my place and order in?”

“Sounds good.”

They sit in silence for a few seconds before someone walks into the room. They glance over and Wade immediately stifles a laugh.

Peter, completely drenched, walks over to the only other people there and hands them the coffee case he had in his hands. They utter their thanks, and he turns around and sees Eddie and Wade, who were quietly laughing to themselves.

Peter flushes in embarrassment and slinks over. “Shut up,” he mutters.

“Not when you look like a drowned rat,” Eddie chuckles.

“It was raining.”

“Yeah,” Wade starts, “and  _ who _ was it who thought it would be a good idea to go out tonight, hm?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I made a mistake, okay.”

“At least you admit it,” he mumbles.

Eddie narrows his eyes. “Is this about what happened last week? Because I  _ told _ you—”

“Oh my god, do you have to bring it up all the time? I already said it was okay!”

Peter glances between them. “Anything I need to know about?”

“No,” Wade mutters, while Eddie says, “Yes.”

They glare at each other and start arguing at the same time.

Peter sighs and rubs his forehead. The people at the other desks look over.

“Okay, I’m leaving,” he says, turning to walk away.

“Wait, I thought we were having takeout at my place?” Wade says, stopping the argument.

“We never told him.”

“Oh, right. Hey, Pete, we’re having takeout at my place.”

He sighs. “Yeah, alright. Let’s get going.”

**. . .**

_ “So that’s one extra-large pineapple and olive pizza, two large meat lovers, one large cheese, two large mozzarella sticks, and one pasta bowl?” _

“Yes.”

_ “We’ll have your order there in 20 minutes.” _

“Thanks,” Wade says, hanging up the phone.

“Do we really need that much food?” Peter asks.

“Of course! What’s the point of saving the world if we don’t get to enjoy pizza?”

Peter blinks. “I’m not gonna answer that. But who gets the leftovers?”

“There won’t be any.”

**“And we will have them if there are.”**

“Not if someone else wants them,” Eddie says.

“I’ll be fine. Oh, and did you decide if you need our help for the move? It’s coming up soon, so I need to know if I need to clear out any of my busy schedule.”

“Yeah, actually, I mentioned it to Mary a bit ago and she said she’d be grateful for the help. I’ll let you know what time tomorrow.”

“Great, I’ll be there,” Peter says.

“Me too.” Wade hesitates and bites the inside of his cheek. “Does Mary, uh . . . does she know about my . . . skin . . . situation?”

Eddie pauses. “No, but I can let her know,” he offers.

Wade picks at his gloves. “Yeah. Probably a good idea if I’m gonna be over there.”

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want,” Eddie suggests delicately.

“No, no, it’s fine. I’ll be fine.” He obviously wasn’t, and Peter and Eddie glance at each other.

“I doubt you have anything to worry about, Mary’s pretty cool. I mean, she accepted Venom without a second thought,” Eddie says, trying to lighten the mood.

Venom huffs indignantly and Wade chuckles. “Yeah, I know. She didn’t freak out too much when she found out we were friends, so I bet nothing fazes her now.”

“You also don’t look nearly as bad as you think you do,” Peter says.

“Yeah, comics me definitely looks worse. The author tells me even that isn’t saying much, but I think she’s just being nice.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “Uh-huh,” he says slowly. “Anyways, when do you think the pizza’ll be here?”

Wade glances at a clock. “Few more minutes, at least.”

There’s a sudden loud crack of thunder and everyone jumps, momentarily startled. Venom hisses at the flash of light that follows.

“Glad we’re not out there,” Peter mutters.

“Yeah, no thanks to you,” Eddie says.

“I—well . . . doesn’t matter,” he mutters petulantly.

Eddie chuckles. “How about this, rule eight, keep up to date with current events. That  _ includes _ the weather.”

“I know, I know.”

**. . .**

“Aaand, done,” Mary says triumphantly, taping the last box closed. “Wo-hoo, we’re finished!”

“Finally,” Eddie mumbles, sitting on the couch.

“And with a few more days to spare,” she says, walking over and sitting next to him. “I’m proud of us.”

“Me too.”

**“Me three.”**

Mary chuckles. “We’ve all done a good job. And now we get to relax until moving day.” She pauses. “Speaking of which, did your friends ever formally agree to help us?”

“Oh, yeah. They’re gonna be here. What time are we starting?”

“Eh, about 9-ish, I guess.”

“I’ll let them know.” He hesitates. “And, uh, Mary. One of my friends, Wade, he’s got this . . . skin condition. He’s really insecure about it, so I just thought I’d let you know beforehand.”

Mary blinks, not entirely sure how to respond. “Oh. That’s . . . fine. I don’t mind.” She chuckles. “I can’t possibly be worse than learning my brother’s got an alien parasite. Not much fazes me anymore.”

**“Hey! That’s not nice!”**

“Sorry, V,” Mary says, patting their head. “And don’t worry about it, dude, tell your friend he’s good.”

“Yeah.” He sighs and leans back. “I still can’t believe we’re done.”

“I know, right. And, soon, you won’t have to sleep on my couch anymore.”

“I really can’t wait. No offence to your couch, of course.”

“Nah, I get it. It’s pretty sucky.”

“And you haven’t even been sleeping on it for one and a half months.”

“One and a half months? Really, it’s been that long?”

“I know, it feels like it’s been  _ years _ ,” Eddie drawls.

“Hey,” Mary says in mock offence, lightly hitting his arm. “That’s not nice.”

“Yeah, yeah. Regardless, I still can’t wait to move. It’s a new beginning, for me and Venom at least.”

She grins. “Your second fresh start in New York. Don’t screw this one up.”

Eddie chuckles. “I won’t.”

**. . .**

“Ah-hah!” Bruce exclaims, holding up a research paper triumphantly. “Found it.”

“Really?” Tony says, looking up. “Anything useful in it?”

“Uh, not that I can see right now,” he says, flipping through the pages. “I’ll need a little more time to go over it. You wanna help?”

“Eh, you go ahead. That stuff’s really not my thing, I’d just slow you down.”

“Okay, suit yourself,” he says sitting down.”

**. . .**

“Hey, Tony, I think I found something.”

“What?”

“Well, apparently, symbiotes are weak to sounds between 4.000 and 6.000 hertz and fire, even when they’re bonded with a host.”

“So we just need, like, a flamethrower and a boombox, and this thing is down for good?”

“Basically, I guess. It’s obviously a little more complicated then that, but yeah.”

“Obviously. We’ll have to figure out a proper plan of attack, though. At least we know what to use.”

“That’s definitely a good thing.” he pauses. “Should we bring in the rest of the Avengers with this? It’s kinda important.”

“Yeah, probably. Just maybe not now. Later.”

“Okay. I’ll keep looking though this, see if I can’t find anything else.”

“Sounds good.”


	9. Don't Overextend Yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I finally figured out my Avengers situation . . . and I'm not telling you! (muahahahaha). Mostly because it would take too long, so you're just gonna have to figure it out as you go. (you're all pretty smart, I trust you). I am seriously considering doing some little ficlets that go into what I've changed, but that won't be now sadly. I'll let you know if I ever get started on it, but for now enjoy the chapter!

“Hey, May, I’m going out,” Peter says, walking past the living room. “I’ll be back soon. Well, soon-ish.”

“Really? It’s already six, how long are you staying out?”

He pauses outside the hallway and glances around. “Not sure. An hour or so?”

“Shouldn’t you be studying? Finals are next week, and it never hurts to put a few more hours in.”

“I’ve _been_ studying, May. I just . . . need to clear my head for a bit.”

Her expression softens. “Alright. Just be back before eight, okay?”

“I will. Thanks,” he says, walking to his room.

“No problem. Have fun.”

**. . . **

“And just where do you think you’ve been?” Mary asks casually when she hears the door open, turning to look at Eddie, who was frozen in place, grimacing.

“Uh . . .”

“Lemme guess. Out with friends?” she asks, standing up and walking over to him.

He pauses. “Yeah, definitely, absolutely. We were out on patrol . . . beating up bad guys . . . stuff like that.”

“I know you’re lying.”

“Whaaat? No, I’m not.”

“Really? Well, I know you are because you’re an awful liar, for one. And two, your phone’s been buzzing a bit, texts from Wade, asking how you’ve been, if you wanted to hang out tonight, few inappropriate jokes, etcetera. Which leads me to assume you were doing something else. Say, some freelance journalism that you just _couldn’t_ resist, so you and Venom went out, started investigating, got in too deep, had a fight, barely escaped with your life, and ran home. Like what used to happen when you lived here, unless you’ve had some _miraculous_ change in the way you like to do things, hm?”

“That’s . . . very detailed, and I won’t _deny_ that’s what happened. Maybe . . . _some_ of it is true, but Venom was with me, so I got off a lot easier than I used to. If that’s any consolation.”

Mary gives him a Look. “It’s not.” She sighs. “I’m worried about you, dude. You can’t go slipping back into old patterns, not now.”

“I’m not. Look, we just got a tip that something was happening and thought we’d check it out. Everything worked out in the end.”

“It might not always. And you can’t just rely on Venom to protect you.”

** “Why not?”  ** they ask, suddenly appearing and obviously upset.

“Because you two aren’t invincible. No matter how much you like to think it.”

“We . . . do just fine. And it’s not like we were doing anything wrong, we were helping people.”

“I know. But you need to take a step back for once and help yourself. You haven’t been getting as much sleep lately, and you can say it’s because of Venom, but you still need to be getting more. Not to mention you’re alienating me and your friends.”

“I know I’m not the best at keeping up with people, but I’m doing really good about it recently! And of _course_ I’ve been staying in touch with you, we _live_ together.”

“Yeah, and despite that, there are days I feel light years away from you. I _hate_ waiting for you to come home late at night, hoping something bad hasn’t happened to you. It eats me up, and I can’t help but feel responsible because I should’ve brought this up sooner.”

“We’re fine, I _promise_. I can’t guarantee that we’ll always be home at a reasonable time, but that’s just how it is. There aren’t exactly proper superhero hours.”

Mary sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. “I know. I just . . . wish things could be different.”

Eddie nods. “Sorry.”

“It’s not entirely your fault. Just, promise me one thing.”

“What?”

“Be safe. Don’t take any of those unnecessary risks you used to.”

“We won’t.”

“Okay then. I’m going to bed. Goodnight, love you,” she says, walking back to her bedroom.

“ ‘Night, love you too.”

**. . . **

Peter taps his finger on his desk and looks blankly at the board. The teacher was just going over review stuff for finals coming up, and he was bored. His mind drifts to his plans for tonight, namely going out with Eddie and Wade.

They’d noticed something shifty happening near the docks and were gonna go check it out to see what was going on. It was probably nothing, but they would be negligent otherwise, and it wasn’t that big a thing anyway.

Peter stifles a yawn and scratches his nose. When was this class over? He glances at the clock and sighs. 30 minutes. At least he’d get to do something more fun when this was all over.

**. . . **

“So, you guys looking forward to finals?” MJ asks dryly.

Ned and Peter groan. “Don’t remind me,” Ned mutters.

“I can hardly keep up with everything as it is,” Peter laments. “Whoever decided all the big tests should be at the end of the year is _evil_. And probably a villain.”

“Agreed.”

“Yeah,” MJ says, “I can’t believe they’re making us go over _cells_ again. That was all last year, why’s it on this test?”

“We’re going over cells?” Peter asks, confused. He didn’t remember anything about that.

“Didn’t you hear Ms. Lara?” Ned asks. “It was a big chunk of that handout she gave us.”

“Oh,” he says sheepishly. “Must’ve missed it.”

“Did you zone out during class?” MJ asks knowingly.

“No,” Peter says lamely.

“Don’t worry, we’ve all done it sometimes. Rite of passage for high school. Anyways, you guys ready for debate team tomorrow?”

**. . . **

“Bomb!” Wade exclaims, starting to run towards the device in the corner of the building.

** “What are you—goddamn it,” ** Venom says, grabbing him as he goes by and rushing towards the exit, glancing at Peter to make sure he was already clear.

They all get away from the building and turn to watch as a few seconds later, it goes up in flames.

Peter lets out a breath and runs a hand across his forehead. “That went . . . badly, so, so badly, we really . . .”

“Fucked up,” Wade agrees.

“Wouldn’t have put it like that exactly, but yeah.”

** “Yes, yes, we did an awful job, but what were you thinking?” ** Venom asks, hitting Wade in the chest.

He stumbles and shakes his head. “Not that I’m the most rational person out there, but what do you mean?”

** “Running towards the bomb! You could have died!” **

“I’d’ve been _fine_ ,” Wade says, waving his hand. “Healing factor, remember? You two don’t have one near as good, I was trying to help!”

** “What, by killing yourself?” **

Wade and Peter flinch.

_ No need to be so blunt,  _ Eddie says uncomfortably.

** “Never understood your human concept of ‘beating around the bush’. It never gets anything done.” **

“It’s called subtlety,” Peter says delicately.

** “Never got that either.” ** They turn to Wade. **“You have a problem.”**

“Obviously,” Wade scoffs. “Have you met me? I’m one big, problematic problem.”

** “Not necessarily. You do have your moments, yes, but this is something more specific. You see yourself as expendable.” **

Wade opens his mouth to say something, but is cut off when Venom continues. **“Do not even try and deny it, it’s obvious you think that’s true. We have noticed this before, but did not think we should bring it up. Now, however, we think it is fit to say that you are not expendable, no matter your healing factor.”**

“Flatterer,” Wade says lightly, obviously uncomfortable.

“They’re right, you know,” Peter points out. “Just ‘cause you can heal fast doesn’t mean you get to go sacrifice yourself all willy nilly. Rule two, remember? During team-ups, have each other’s back. Which means that we _all_ look out for each other. It’s not just your responsibility.”

“I _know_ ,” he mumbles.

“Do you, or are you just saying that?”

“Can’t it be both?” Wade says, his voice strained.

Peter sighs. “Look, dude, all we’re trying to say, is that you’re . . . important. You matter, in general, and to us.”

Wade bites the inside of his cheek and glances away. “When’d you become such a sap,” he murmurs.

Peter chuckles. “This surprises you?” he asks, grinning.

“Wasn’t talking to you.”

_ (I’ve always been a sap) _

“Obviously. Have you _read_ some of your previous chapters?”

_ (Hey, no need to be mean about it) _

“It was a joke, jeez,” Wade says scratching the back of his head. He looks up at Peter and Venom. “And, yeah, I know all that. It’s just, habit, I guess. Colossus and the others brought it up a few times too, and I’m trying, but it’s hard, okay?”

“I get that. But, hey, at least you’re trying. That’s something.”

“Yeah, I guess. Anyway, we should probably scram before the cops get here. Dinner at my place?”

“Sure, let’s get going.”

**. . . **

“Hey, May, I’m going out,” Peter says, walking past her and towards his room.

“What, no,” she says, grabbing his wrist. “I just got home, you’re not even gonna say ‘hi’?”

“May,” he whines, taking his hand back.

“Peter,” she says, taking the same  tone. “You’ve been going out a lot lately, can’t you ever take a break?”

“Not really. People to see, lives to save.”

“I’m sure New York will be fine for one night. Come on, let’s watch a movie, we haven’t done that in a while.’

“I’m meeting up with someone though, I can’t just cancel on them.”

“Just send ‘em a text or something.”

Peter glances at his bedroom door. “Alright,” he agrees reluctantly, walking over to the couch and taking out his phone.

“That’s the spirit! So, what do you want to watch?”

“You pick.” He opens the group chat and starts typing.

** Peter:  ** _ hey, i’m not gonna make it tonight, me and May are watching a movie _

** Eddie:  ** _ Your first cancellation _

** Wade:  ** _ i feel snubbed _

** Peter:  ** _ drama queens _

** Peter:  ** _ you’ll do fine without me for one night _

** Peter:  ** _ i believe in you _

** Eddie:  ** _ Such stirring sentiment _

** Wade:  ** _ how come you get to watch movies and we don’t? _

** Wade:  ** _ you could’ve at least asked us to join you _

** Peter:  ** _ try explaining that one to my aunt, no thanks _

** Peter:  ** _ and we’ve all been working ourselves too hard anyways _

** Peter:  ** _ rule 9: don’t overextend yourself _

** Eddie:  ** _ Aw, he cares _

** Peter:  ** _ that’s been established _

** Peter:  ** _ have fun and don’t kill anyone pls _

** Wade:  ** _ who do you take us for, some kinda common criminals? _

** Peter:  ** _ haha _

** Peter:  ** _ and i’m serious, i’d better not hear about any mysterious deaths _

** Wade:  ** _ sir yes sir! _

Peter chuckles and turns his phone off. They could be a handful at times, but it was nice he was at a point where he could trust them to not mess up somehow. Or at least not in some big murder-y way.

**. . . **

“Avengers meeting in five minutes,” Tony says through the loudspeaker system. “It’s urgent business, I want everyone there.”

“You think they’ll be upset we haven’t told them yet?” Bruce asks.

“Probably not. And we don’t have to mention it anyway, it’s not important.”

They fall silent and watch as the other three file in, bored looks on their faces, obviously wishing they were somewhere else, because it was a _Friday_ goddamnit, was there nothing sacred left in this world?

“What is it, Tony?” James asks in an obvious ‘I have better things to be doing, so make this good’ tone of voice.

“Right. So, me and Bruce recently found out about a man-eating alien symbiote called ‘Venom’ loose in New York, and we need to stop it.”

They all blink.

“A what now?” Steve asks, stunned.

“A man-eating alien symbiote called ‘Venom’. We’re pretty sure we found a way to neutralize it without a big fight, but we’re still gonna have backup just in case. Thor is, of course, out on some space adventure with his Asgardian friends, but I talked to Clint, Natasha, and the Maximoff twins, and they said they’d try to be here. Hope and Scott said it was too short notice and wished us luck. Any questions?”

“Uh, yeah,” Sam says. “How long have you known about this? And how’d you find out, this seems kinda obscure.”

“We found out a few days ago, and this ‘Venom’ character has been in contact with Spider-Man.”

“That kid that hangs around here occasionally?” James asks.

“Yep. He apparently thought it’d be a great idea to hang out a villain, because why not, I guess. We’re gonna take Venom in, and then I need to have a serious talk with him about that. After we’ve figured out a formal plan, we strike. Got it?”

They mumble their affirming words and Tony grins.

“Great! I’ll let you know when we’re ready.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, I will clarify a few things. Quicksilver isn't dead, Vision isn't a thing, and 'Civil War' never happened.


	10. WWAD (What Would the Avengers Do)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter everyone! Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments and kudos, they really make my day! Hope you enjoy the chapter . . .

“And you’re _sure_ you have everything packed?”

“Yes, Mary, I’m sure. Got my suitcase all ready to go. Are _you_ sure you have everything packed?”

Mary pauses. “I’ll be right back,” she says, going back to her room.

** “Why is she getting so stressed about this? Are we not just relocating?” **

“Well, yeah, but we’ve got a lot less stuff than her. She’s just worried about missing something.”

** “Understandable, I suppose. When are Wade and Peter getting here?” **

Eddie glances at the clock on the microwave. “15 minutes-ish.”

“You’re really mean, y’know that,” Mary mutters, walking back out. “Gah, I’m stressed enough as it is, I don’t need you two patronizing me.”

“It was a joke, I’m sorry. What do you need help with?”

“Nothing now, I guess. Although we should probably start moving the smaller stuff before your friends get here. Stack ‘em in a corner.”

“Sounds good. You got the keys, right?”

“Uh-huh,” she says, taking them out of her pocket. “Let’s start with the kitchen boxes.”

**. . . **

“We’re ~here~,” a voice sing songs from the doorway.

Mary looks over at the two newcomers and does a double take. For a second there she’d thought . . . nah.

“You must be Mary,” the younger one says, walking up and offering his hand.

“Uh, yeah,” she says, a bit confusedly, shaking his hand. (Why did that sound so familiar?). “Peter, I’m guessing?”

“Yep.”

“So that would make you Wade?”

“Uh-huh. Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Mary says, giving them a scrutinizing look. Peter was obviously the younger one (why was Eddie hanging out with a teenager?) and Wade seemed more around hers and Eddie’s age (not that she was ever any good with guessing stuff like that). There was also something familiar about them, but she couldn’t quite place it.

“Have I met you somewhere before?” she asks them, curious.

“No,” they say simultaneously, in equally suspicious tones.

“Got it,” Mary says slowly, narrowing her eyes. They were obviously hiding something, but what exactly? _Had_ she met them before? If so, when? And why would they be lying about it?

“Oh, you guys are here,” Eddie says, walking into the room. “We were just finishing up with some things up there. You think we’re ready to start moving some of the bigger stuff?”

“Uh, yeah,” she says, shaking out of her thoughts. “We should probably start with the couch. You guys can handle that, I need to go take my bed frame apart.”

“Got it. Peter, little help here?” Eddie asks, moving to one end of the couch.

Mary turns and watches in half-surprise as they lift it and start walking towards the doorway.

“You didn’t think they’d be able to do it, did you,” Wade says jokingly. “I know Pete looks like a twiggy little thing, but he’s pretty strong. Possibly even stronger than me, but don’t tell him I said that.”

She gives him an odd look. “I won’t. So, do they need any help, or do you think they got it?”

“They’ll be fine. You need any help with your bed frame?”

“Nah. It’s just a few screws. Might need a bit of help with the mattress, though.”

“Well, I’m at your service m’lady,” Wade says, grinning.

Mary chuckles. “Sure.”

**. . . **

_ “So that’s one extra-large pineapple and olive pizza, two large meat lovers, one large cheese, two large mozzarella sticks, and two pasta bowls?” _

“Yes.”

_ “We’ll have your order there in 20 minutes.” _

“Thanks,” Wade says, hanging up the phone.

“Pineapple and olive?” Mary asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you try it.”

“No thanks.”

“Your loss.  So,” he starts, nudging Eddie with his elbow, “how’s it feel moving into the new place?”

“Tiring. But at least I have my own room now.”

“Which means you keep your mess out of the living room this time?” Mary asks, getting up.

“It was only a few times! We were pretty tidy!”

“Communal spaces, you know the rules. Now get over here and help me find the dishes, I don’t have any paper plates.”

“I think we put them next to the fridge,” Eddie says, walking over. “But that might’ve been the pots and pans. Did we label the plates?”

“I think I just wrote ‘dishes’ on everything.”

“We’ll be _fine_ ,” Wade says, waving a hand. “Who needs plates, we’re all capable adults. ‘Cept little Petey-pie here,” he teases, ruffling his hair, “but he’s a responsible kid, so it’s all good.”

“No nicknames,” Peter mumbles, batting his hand away.

Mary glances at the many boxes in the kitchen. “Yeah, I don’t really feel like going through all these right now. Later today,” she says, mostly to herself, sitting back down. She pauses, glancing between Peter and Eddie. “So, Peter, how old _are_ you anyway?” she asks conversationally.

“Sixteen, but I’ll be seventeen in August.”

She nods. “And how’d you meet Eddie again?”

“Uh,” he starts, glancing over at Eddie. “through work. I take pictures for his articles.”

“Oh, right, you’re that photographer who gets all the pics of Spider-Man. You must know him pretty well then, if you’re the only one who’s allowed to take pictures of him.”

Peter freezes and Eddie and Wade snicker.

“Well . . . that’s not _entirely_ accurate. I’m not the _only_ one, I just . . . have a kinda deal with him. He lets me get some good shots sometimes, and I give him some of the money I get from the Bugle.”

Wade and Eddie are now actively trying to hide their chuckles and Mary regards Peter suspiciously. “Uh-huh,” she says slowly. Odd, but not entirely impossible. Wade and Eddie’s reactions were definitely something to consider, though. “Doesn’t explain why you hang out with my dumbass little brother, though,” she says good-naturedly.

“Hey,” he says, punching her arm.

“It’s a valid question, I’m just curious.”

Peter glances between Wade and Eddie, an almost panicked look in his eyes. “Uh . . . I just . . . like hanging out with him?”

Mary raises an eyebrow. “Really? With Eddie, you sure?”

“Yes?” he says uncertainly.

“Are you asking me, or telling me?”

“Telling you?”

She chuckles. “You’re a funny kid, Pete.”

“Thanks?” he says, his voice cracking.

Mary laughs. “Hilarious. Anyway, Wade, how’d you meet Eddie?”

“I accosted him in a dark alleyway.”

She blinks. “That’s . . . interesting. Do I get any specifics?”

“Not much to tell, really.”

“Okay then. Not very talkative, are you.”

“You have no idea,” Eddie mutters.

**. . . **

** Wade:  ** _ movie night tonight! be over by 6 _

** Eddie:  ** _ What are we watching? _

** Wade:  ** _ shh, it’s a surprise _

** Peter:  ** _ can we move it back to 7:30, i have dinner with May _

** Wade: ** _ sure, just don’t be late _

**. . . **

Hey guys, sorry I’m late,” Peter says, walking through the door. “May kept me longer than I thought.”

“It’s all right, we haven’t started yet,” Wade says. “Come and sit, we’ve got Chinese food.”

“Cool.” He walks over and looks at the T.V. “Oh, we’re watching Mummy? I haven’t seen that in forever!”

“Surprised you know what it is, it’s an old movie,” Eddie comments, moving over so he could sit down.

“May watched it with me a few times.”

“Good taste,” Wade says. “I’ve got the sequel if we wanna watch it too.”

“Maybe. I don’t wanna stay out too late.”

“That’s fine. Now, let’s get started!”

**. . . **

“You know, it’s really too bad we can’t see the stars,” Peter says wistfully, gazing up at the sky.

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees.

** “They are not really all that impressive.” **

“Odd coming from you,” Wade says.

** “Just because I am an alien does not mean I enjoy any and all things from space.” **

“Fair point.”

A few minutes of comfortable silence pass.

“Hey, Peter?” Wade says after a while. “Why do you do this?”

“Do what?”

“This,” he says, gesturing vaguely. “Just . . . hanging out with us, doing movie nights, almost stargazing, stuff like that.”

“Oh. Well I guess . . . I just enjoy hanging out with you guys.”

** “I told you we were cool.” **

Peter chuckles. “Cool isn’t the word I’d use.”

“ _Wow_ ,” Wade says. “Then why do you like hanging out with us if we’re so ‘uncool’?”

“Because you’re fun to hang out with. You know, when you’re _not_ trying to kill people.”

“Hey, I resent that remark,” Eddie says. “We’re doing a lot better than we were.”

** “Yes, we hardly ever ask to eat people who annoy us now.” **

“See, that’s progress. It’s nice to see how far you’ve come. Reminds me a bit of me, actually.”

“Really?” Wade asks. “Do you have some secret dark past you’ve kept hidden from us?”

“No, nothing like that. It’s just, I had a hard start in this whole superhero game too, and I was lucky enough to have someone to help me figure it out. And I guess I wanted to do the same for you guys.”

“This wouldn’t happen to be your super-secret Avengers contact who helped you out with our pills, would it?”

“Well, yeah. Just kinda paying it forward, I guess. Following their example.”

“WWAD,” Wade says sagely, nodding along.

“What?”

“WWAD, what would the Avengers do. You guys have never heard of that?”

“Not that I can think of.”

“Odd, it’s one of _my favorite_ sayings,” Wade says sarcastically.

“Y’know, we should make it one of our rules,” Eddie says, grinning at Wade. He sneers back.

“That’s not a bad idea,” Peter agrees.

“Well, I mean—”

“Rule ten, WWAD, what would the Avengers do.”

There’s a sudden whoosh before a metallic voice says, “Not hang out with super villains for one, Peter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Muahahahaha! God, I feel so evil ending on a cliffhanger like this. But fret not, for I have yet another sequel in development! Keep an eye out for that and subscribe to the series! (I'll also give an update on this story to let you know when it's up)


End file.
